SpinnerBait_Nut
Honorary Moderator Emeritus
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2002
- Messages
- 17,651
"Playing Soldier"<br /> <br />My neighbor Terry, a former high school athlete,<br />came back from combat duty in Afghanistan.<br /> <br />He was excited that his unit had played<br />a makeshift game of football.<br /> <br />"Just don't tell my mom," he begged.<br />"If she knew I played football,<br />she'd worry that I might re-injure my knee."<br />________________________________________________<br />"Notice"<br /> <br />Please note the following change:<br /> <br />All K-Marts will be closed in Iraq.<br /> <br />They will be replaced with Targets.<br />________________________________________________<br />And on a serious note.<br />"Navy SEALS"<br /> <br />Two things Navy SEALS are always taught:<br /> <br />Keep your priorities in order<br /> <br />Know when to act without hesitation<br /> <br />A college professor, an avowed atheist and active in the<br />ACLU, was teaching his class. He shocked several of his<br />students when he flatly stated that once and for all he was<br />going to prove there was no G~d. Addressing the ceiling<br />he shouted:<br /> <br />"G~D, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this<br />platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes!!!!!"<br /> <br />The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop.<br />Ten minutes went by.<br /> <br />"I'm waiting G~d, if you're real knock me off this platform!!!!"<br /> <br />Again after 4 minutes, the professor taunted G~d saying,<br /> <br />"Here I am, G~d!!! I'm still waiting!!!"<br /> <br />His count down got down to the last couple of minutes when<br />a SEAL, just released from the Navy after serving in Afghanistan<br />and Iraq and newly registered in the class, walked up to the<br />Professor.<br /> <br />The SEAL hit him full force in the face, and sent the Professor<br />tumbling from his lofty platform. The Professor was out cold!!<br />The students were stunned and shocked. They began to<br />babble in confusion. The SEAL nonchalantly took his seat in<br />the front row and sat silent.<br /> <br />The class looked at him and fell silent.....waiting. Eventually,<br />the professor came to and was noticeably shaken. He looked<br />at the SEAL in the front row. When the professor regained his<br />senses and could speak he asked:<br /> <br />"What the hell is the matter with you?! Why did you do that!?"<br /> <br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br /><br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br /><br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />"G~d was really busy protecting America's soldiers, who are<br />protecting your right to say stupid crap and act like an idiot!!!<br />So he sent me!!"<br /> <br />One Nation Under G~d!!!
