generator12
Senior Chief Petty Officer
- Joined
- Jul 9, 2010
- Messages
- 666
I have powers that even I don't understand. I can move inanimate objects at will - even cause groups of people to act in certain ways whenever I want them to. Examples:
1. I can cause the stock market to rise. All I have to do is move all my stuff into bonds.
2. I can make a traffic lane slow down. I simply leave the one I'm currently in, and move into the one that's moving too fast. Presto!
3. I am able to make nuts, bolts, and tools disappear into thin air, and then reappear. All I have to do is place them around the work in the sequence in which I will need them. When needed, I will be unable to find at least one of them. After checking everyplace once, the missing one(s) will reappear on the second (sometimes third) search.
4. My rainmaking abilities are unsurpassed. Let me know if you need rain in your area. I'll schedule a party there, and voila! As well, I generate hot, dry spells each year simply by spreading grass seed on the sparse areas of my lawn. Great for my boating friends...!
5. I can make a horse lose a race simply by betting this month's rent on it.
6. I have similar abilities in retail establishments. I can make an empty checkout lane fill up immediately, simply by approaching it with my arms full of goods. People will hurry in from all directions.
I have no idea from where these powers emanate, but they're undeniable!
If you need something really badly, contact me. For a small fee to cover my time, I'll study the situation and, odds are, will come up with an approach to get it for you.
1. I can cause the stock market to rise. All I have to do is move all my stuff into bonds.
2. I can make a traffic lane slow down. I simply leave the one I'm currently in, and move into the one that's moving too fast. Presto!
3. I am able to make nuts, bolts, and tools disappear into thin air, and then reappear. All I have to do is place them around the work in the sequence in which I will need them. When needed, I will be unable to find at least one of them. After checking everyplace once, the missing one(s) will reappear on the second (sometimes third) search.
4. My rainmaking abilities are unsurpassed. Let me know if you need rain in your area. I'll schedule a party there, and voila! As well, I generate hot, dry spells each year simply by spreading grass seed on the sparse areas of my lawn. Great for my boating friends...!
5. I can make a horse lose a race simply by betting this month's rent on it.
6. I have similar abilities in retail establishments. I can make an empty checkout lane fill up immediately, simply by approaching it with my arms full of goods. People will hurry in from all directions.
I have no idea from where these powers emanate, but they're undeniable!
If you need something really badly, contact me. For a small fee to cover my time, I'll study the situation and, odds are, will come up with an approach to get it for you.
