Re: Hey, there shootin' at us!!
SW,<br /><br />I have made a list of things that you will need if you want to be a Republican. Remember Liberals love to identify themselves. The following bumper stickers/nametags can now be used to gauge the danger level.<br /><br /> Kerry/Edwards bumper stickers could represent a drive by vehicle. As Kerry is a skilled hunter based on his 90 days in Vienam and Wisconsin hunting skills so look for a double barrel with slugs. Danger level 3 <br /><br />But never forget the ACLU, they may not be armed, but they may ram you. Danger level 2<br /><br />NAMBLA: lock down the kids. Danger level 4<br /><br />NOW stickers: Absolutely capable of anything/completely unpredictable/capable of changing mood without notice/armed? quite possibly, anything from a 22 to anti-tank missles. Danger level 11 (out of 10)<br /><br />Rainbow stickers, not likely to be armed but dangerous in their own way. Danger level 2<br /><br />Any Clinton Gore leftovers: Put on the kevlar vest. Laws and reality don't apply to them. Danger level 7<br /><br />DNC sticker: This is an urban assult vehicle, Armed? You bet, but the real danger is to your wallet and your personal freedoms. DO NOT APPROACH ON YOUR OWN, LAYWERS ARE ON BOARD. Danger level 9<br /><br />Democratic poll workers: These should stand out like members of the nation of Islam. Just the opposite. Hair unkept, 25K in tatoos in foreign languages, poor fitting clothing, 4-5 different ID'd for multiple voting opportunities, and a government check to support their drug habit. This is their idea of a job. And of course, condoms for the kids. Danger level 6<br /><br />Press pass: Definately not armed with either weapons or facts. Danger level 1<br />_______________________________________________<br /><br />I have found the appropriate vehicle for all republicans:<br /><br />Corporate Security Director or the security conscious individual who requires a higher degree of protection while traveling by automobile or while attending security sensitive functions or events.<br /><br /> 2004 Chevy Tahoe Z71 4X4 $119,000 <br /> Fully Loaded <br /> Color - Black <br /> All Windows - Level IV Ballistic Specifications <br /> All Doors - Level IV Ballistic Specs. <br /> Bomb Blanket in Floor and Roof <br /> PA, Siren, Emergency Lights & Strobes <br /> Run Flat Tires <br /> Gas Tank and Battery Protection <br /> Deliver anywhere within Continental US <br /> <br />Personal equipment:<br /><br />Bayonette, good for cutting up liberals in close quarters. Simply telling them you have one should cause lawyers to appear. They are so scary they were illegal.<br /><br />22 auto, quick, easily carried, fashionable, easily used by your date or wife. Fits nicely in the armrest of your SUV or Truck.<br /><br />Winchester 30/30, It won the the west and it can help you chase down those troublesome snipers who live in trees or heavy brush. (See Gore)<br /><br />Ruger 308, It is important to have one of these in your vehicle at all times. It will take several shots to bring down a Nadler, or Ted Kennedy, or a Michael Moore. These huge tubs of goo are big game and typically are bomb throwers so you want to keep your distance. <br /><br />Mossburg 12 gauge: Excellent for clearing a path to polls when blocked by militant liberals. (certain labor union members, teachers, students, GPU, and the like)<br /><br />Avoid using tools such as common sense or facts. These things are wasted on liberals and are likely to further enrage them. Whatever you do don't appeal to their sense of patriotism. If you have no choice try learning a few phases in French, it might get you out of a tight spot.<br /><br />When in doubt pull out the liberals cyptonite. Cash. By offering to make an illegal contribution to DNC should get you out of any unanticipated liberal assults.<br /><br />Following these simple rules and you should be able to make it through to election day.
