Here's an interesting situation to ponder...

[eeboater]

Imagine you are a younger 26 year-old man. You're happily married making enough money for you and your wife to live VERY comfortably. <br /><br />Your father owns a computer consulting company and is begging you to join him in the next 6 years because eventually, he wants to retire and give you the whole shooting match, company, contacts, everything. Your income would nearly 10 times what you earn today. This is something that you have always wanted to do since you were young.<br /><br />But, your wife doesn't want to move two states away from her family. Your wife also knew that you wanted to do this before you got married.<br /><br />The odd part is that your wife is 2 hours away from her family anyways, and see's them once every 3 months now. <br /><br />Lets add an additional level of complexity to the situation. Seven years ago, you got into a very serious argument with your father in which you didn't speak with him for over 2 years. They were for reasons which have long since been resolved and the relationship has been rebuilt and stronger than ever. This isn't a reason your wife is giving for not wanting to move there -- but you are positive it is in the back of her head.<br /><br />Would you give up your lifelong dream?<br /><br />Sean

 

[SpinnerBait_Nut]

Re: Here's an interesting situation to ponder...

Is Angelina involved in any way at all?

 

[eeboater]

Re: Here's an interesting situation to ponder...

Angelina Jolie?! NO... unfortunately not

 

[revertmastec]

Re: Here's an interesting situation to ponder...

If your wife is only seeing her family every 3 months you have to consider takeing the job. If they were very close and seeing each other every day I would say no way because family is everything. What you have to consider is, if you make her move will she resent you and will your marriage survive? You said it best "You're happily married making enough money for you and your wife to live VERY comfortably." IS it worth risking your marriage?

 

[SpinnerBait_Nut]

Re: Here's an interesting situation to ponder...

Another thing to ponder, is there children involved? Will there be in the future? Are you now making enough to support 2 or 3 children?<br /><br />How strong is your marriage and how understanding is your wife?<br /><br />Lot's of things to ponder about here.

 

[tomatolord]

Re: Here's an interesting situation to ponder...

1st you are young so dont bet that VERY comfortable will last forever LIFE HAPPENS<br />Kids<br />cars<br />homes<br />illnesses <br />layoffs <br />etc <br /><br /><br />IF dad is willing to put everything in writing then yes<br /><br />what your job will be<br />when you start to take over<br />when his EXACT exit date is<br /><br />Details will prevent arguments later, especially if he does NOT want to retire later <br /><br />I would buy him out not let him "give" it to you. So he can have a clean break <br />OR NOT<br />You may want to keep him on and have him play golf or something like that with your clients<br /><br />With the extra money buy plane tickets so she can visit them OR they can come visit her. Buy the tickets ahead of time<br /><br />Show her the nicer home you would be moving into<br />Buy both (you and her family) a web cam to stay in touch (do it now so they get used to it)<br />Get the free long distance etc<br />Make sure the new house has a guest suite for when her family visits they have there own place to stay<br /><br />The other side <br /><br />Talk with a company seller (they sell companies) and get a fair price for the biz and make sure that dad realizes he will be walking away from that amount. If he does sell the biz outright he can enjoy the $$$ and leave it to you as an inheritance.

 

[Frankhanhart]

Re: Here's an interesting situation to ponder...

For some reason I always liked the song " stand by your man" . But seriously, one of you is to resent the other, whichever way the dime falls. And if not for this reason, then for the next and the next. So better have it on the table as soon as possible. I'm the one to tell you.....took me 29 years to learn that. So I guess it boils down to the fact that nobody can give you the perfect answer, I think. Only you yourself. If its you.<br />Much luck in your decision.<br />Frank

 

[eeboater]

Re: Here's an interesting situation to ponder...

Well, no kids right... and none for a while. We are planning on having them someday. Just enjoying living young with money without kids for now. We understand that kids are a major commitment and we want to make sure we are completely ready before then. I mean, its not like getting a dog...<br /><br />As for the move, the company consists of my dad and his business partner. His business partner has already said that he just wants to close up shop and shut down when they retire. So, I would just be inheriting what they do not want anymore. There is no brick and mortar, or value to the company other than the reputation their company's name has for quality work and service in the cleveland area. Basically, I would be getting that and thier client base. If we made the move, I would make enough that we could have kids, live comfortably, and she wouldn't have to work. That is what is frustrating. I would love it (and I know she would) if she could be a "stay at home mom" for our kids. The move would enable that. Staying where we are wouldn't.<br /><br />Sean

 

[Ralph 123]

Re: Here's an interesting situation to ponder...

Well, I'd start by educating her to all the wonderful things she could buy with that extra income. The nice house she'd live in. The nice car she'd drive. The good schools and colleges the kids could attend. The nice trips the family could take...

 

[Fly Rod]

Re: Here's an interesting situation to ponder...

Money is not everything, but if you are going to start making 10 times more then your present income, then that is something to ponder!!!<br /><br />I can understand your wife not wanting to move 2 states away, can be a long drive to see mama & daddy!!!<br /><br />My wife didn't want to move 6 miles when my kids were teenages to another section of town because the kids would not have any friends!! Well my daughter had a boy friend over where I wanted to move and after graduating guess where she moved too!!! A block away from where I built the new house!!!<br /><br />So I wouldn't worry about the kids finding new friends!!!<br /><br />And which is stronger, "The love for your wife," or "The love for your Life long Dream"???????<br /><br />Could be like "Ole Caveman!!! Grab the wife by the hair and drag her across 2 states, plank her butt in a new house and make 10 times more money!!!<br /><br />"When they say it's not about Money," "It's all about Money"!!!!<br /><br />Good Luck!!!

 

[BigPoppaG]

Re: Here's an interesting situation to ponder...

A couple of DINKS..........(Double Icome No Kids)lol<br /><br />Just to let you know Money isn't everyhthing. <br /><br />Sounds like you have a sweet setup right now. Are you happy with the job you have? Is there room for growth so you could afford the life stile of your wife staying home?<br /><br />Sounds like you need to talk it over with her a little more in depth. With the new job you could afford to send her to see her parents more often then if she was living 2 hours away. <br /><br />Just a couple of ideas.

 

[kenimpzoom]

Re: Here's an interesting situation to ponder...

You must convince the wife it is better for yall to move. Write down all of the resons why and explain them to her. Ignore any initial negative answer she gives, dont arugue with her. Women take time to come around, and if it is a sweet deal, she will come around.<br /><br />I was quite lucky. My wife didnt need any convincing to leave Thailand, she knew it is a better life in the USA.<br /><br />Ken

 

[eeboater]

Re: Here's an interesting situation to ponder...

Yeah Poppa... thats what I was thinking... a little more $$ in the pocket, then she can go home once a month if she wants. <br /><br />Don't get me wrong, the potential $$ is very nice. But I'm more interested in owning my own business and working with my Dad than anything. <br /><br />It sounds like we should decide and commit before we have kids.... <br /><br /><br />Sean

 

[eeboater]

Re: Here's an interesting situation to ponder...

Originally posted by KenImpZoom:<br />My wife didnt need any convincing to leave Thailand, she knew it is a better life in the USA.<br /><br />Ken

If only Wisconsin was less appealing than Ohio... I mean, Ohio and Wisconsin can't be much more alike!!

 

[Fly Rod]

Re: Here's an interesting situation to ponder...

"NO Kids"!!!! "A Stay At Home Wife"!!!!!<br /><br />Do you know how much income you are losing??????<br /><br />Get that wife into the work force and that extra income could be going into the family bank or invested for the future!!!

 

[BigPoppaG]

Re: Here's an interesting situation to ponder...

Originally posted by eeboater:<br /> Yeah Poppa... thats what I was thinking... a little more $$ in the pocket, then she can go home once a month if she wants. <br /><br />Don't get me wrong, the potential $$ is very nice. But I'm more interested in owning my own business and working with my Dad than anything. <br /><br />It sounds like we should decide and commit before we have kids....<br /><br />Sean

Rock and a hard place buddy,<br />Good luck.<br />Let us know what happens.

 

[rogerwa]

Re: Here's an interesting situation to ponder...

From what you have said on this is that your father earns 10x what you do and is willing to turn over the business to you.<br /><br />The thing is that the business is made up of him and his partner. You are not him. People are paying for his experience and ability to deliver. Your possibilities of earning this upgraded income is dependent on you being able to deliver at the same level of him and his partner, maybe more because you will be new.<br /><br />Also, don't undercut the rsik in this venture as computer consulting is not the wide open field it was a few years back. What is your readiness for adjusting to the changing business conditions??<br /><br />Just some thoughts.

 

[CoachHolland]

Re: Here's an interesting situation to ponder...

Originally posted by eeboater:<br />

Originally posted by KenImpZoom:<br />My wife didnt need any convincing to leave Thailand, she knew it is a better life in the USA.<br /><br />Ken

If only Wisconsin was less appealing than Ohio... I mean, Ohio and Wisconsin can't be much more alike!!

I've been to Milwaukee and Cleveland. There is no comparison between the two places. Milwaukee is a much nicer city.<br /><br />You're missing one big detail in your story. Why doesn't she want to be there. You mentioned the family thing, but you don't seem to think that is the real issue. Discuss and find out what is really going on.

 

[Elmer Fudge]

Re: Here's an interesting situation to ponder...

Originally posted by Ralph:<br /> Well, I'd start by educating her to all the wonderful things she could buy with that extra income. The nice house she'd live in. The nice car she'd drive. The good schools and colleges the kids could attend. The nice trips the family could take...

Like Ralph said, also with the increased income, an airline ticket to see mom and pop would be easily affordable.

 

[KaGee]

Re: Here's an interesting situation to ponder...

EE... <br /><br />The number one rule of a happy family... If Mama aint happy... aint nobody happy!<br /><br />I think it took me a number of years for that to sink in.<br /><br />Another thought... please don't take this personal, it's a general observation... the success of your father's business is no guarantee of it's continued prosperity under you. What abilities do you posess that you feel qualifies you to take over? Are you capable? Customers come and go, some stay due to relationships. A change of ownership is sometimes disconcerting to folks. How stable is the client base?<br /><br />It would be my suggestion that if you make the move, 1) you and your father agree on specific terms of transition... when, how etc. 2) that even when your father decides to retire, that he remain for a while as a figurehead, for the appearance of stability if nothing else.