Re: Happy Birthday Gonfishn !
You Know You're Getting Old When...<br /><br /><br /> * People are constantly putting a mirror under your nose while you nap to see if you're breathing.<br /><br /> * You finally find something you've been looking for, for ages but can't remember why you wanted it.<br /><br /> * You get to work before you discover you forgot to get dressed.<br /><br /> * You reach the toilet you forgot what you wanted to do.<br /><br /> * Tightening your belt becomes uncomfortable under your armpits.<br /><br /> * You can't finish a conversation, because you don't remember what you were talking about.<br /><br /> * Your spare tire is larger than your car's.<br /><br /> * You are abducted by aliens, but immediately returned in favor of a living specimen.<br /><br /> * Your top three favorite pastimes involve sleep.<br /><br /> * You are declined as an organ donor - you're told they're not sure if your organs are functional.<br /><br /> * Most of your sentences begin with, "When I was your age..."<br /><br /> * Bob Dole refers to you as, "old man."<br /><br /> * Going to the bathroom at night used to require shoes, a candle and a corn cob.<br /><br /> * The Smithsonian request your participation in an exhibit "The Evolution Of Man."<br /><br /> * The fire department is requested to attend your birthday party in case the candles on your cake get out of hand.<br /><br /> * George Burns calls to congratulate you on your birthday, saying, "It's just you and me, kid." Update: "Now it's just you, kid!"<br /><br /> * The dictionary adds your picture under the definition of "octogenarian."<br /><br /> * You had to get rid of your dog he kept trying to drag you to the yard to bury you.<br /><br /> * Medicare states that you're too old for their coverage.<br /><br /> * You can't be tried by a jury of your peers because there are none.<br /><br /> * Universities inquire about your donating your body to science they are desperate for specimens of ancient civilizations.<br /><br /> * You try to donate to a sperm bank but they insist they require live specimens.<br /><br /> * Everyone is happy to give you a ride because they don't want you behind the wheel.<br /><br /> * Your dentist is fascinated by your wooden dentures.<br /><br /> * Your bifocals need bifocals.<br /><br /> * You're not allowed on most of the rides at DisneyWorld because they may be too intense.<br /><br /> * A passing funeral procession pauses to see if you need a lift.<br /><br /> * You convince an attractive young lady to sleep with you but fail to convince your body parts to arise to the occasion.<br /><br /> * Young girls feel safe in your presence knowing you couldn't possibly do anything.<br /><br /> * Watching paint dry has a certain fascination.<br /><br /> * Children often innocently ask you, "What did people do before electricity?" And you can't remember.<br /><br /> * You can remember seeing double features for a nickel, sometimes with sound.<br /><br /> * Charlton Heston comes to you for advice about his character, Moses, since you were there.<br /><br /> * You are often asked to give a personal account of the story of creation.<br /><br /> * You often repeat things...You often repeat things... You often repeat things...<br /><br /> * You discover the meaning of life, but forgot to write it down. <br /><br /><br />
Someone call the fire department now before they light his cake. 
<br /><br />I tried but my phone dosen't have an 11 on it.
