GAMES FOR WHEN WE ARE OLDER <br />1. Sag, you're It. <br />2. Hide and go pee. <br />3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear. <br />4. Kick the bucket. <br />5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over. <br />6. Musical recliners. <br />7. Simon says something incoherent. <br />8. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy. 
<br /><br />SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE<br />1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale. <br />2. You have to write post-it notes with your kids' names on them. <br />3. You change your underwear after a sneeze. <br /><br />OLD IS WHEN <br />1. Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face. <br />2. You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along. <br />3. Getting a little action means I don't need fiber today.<br />4. Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.<br />5. An all-nighter means not getting up to pee! <br /><br />THOUGHTS FOR THE WEEKEND<br />1. I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place! <br /><br />2. When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky dunk." <br /><br />3. Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? <br /><br />4. Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet. <br /><br />5. My husband says I never listen to him. At least I think that's what he said. <br /><br />6. Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.<br /><br />7. If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor! <br /><br />8. Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
<br /><br />SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE<br />1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale. <br />2. You have to write post-it notes with your kids' names on them. <br />3. You change your underwear after a sneeze. <br /><br />OLD IS WHEN <br />1. Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face. <br />2. You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along. <br />3. Getting a little action means I don't need fiber today.<br />4. Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.<br />5. An all-nighter means not getting up to pee! <br /><br />THOUGHTS FOR THE WEEKEND<br />1. I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place! <br /><br />2. When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky dunk." <br /><br />3. Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? <br /><br />4. Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet. <br /><br />5. My husband says I never listen to him. At least I think that's what he said. <br /><br />6. Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.<br /><br />7. If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor! <br /><br />8. Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
