SpinnerBait_Nut
Honorary Moderator Emeritus
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2002
- Messages
- 17,651
"ATM Blonde"<br /> <br />I rode home with a female coworker (A blonde?)<br />about five years ago. I asked her to wait for me while<br />I used the ATM machine. She asked if I trusted "those<br />people."<br /> <br />"People *who*?" I asked?<br /> <br />She said, "The ATM operates by having a person inside<br />the box. Every time you put in your card, he takes it, looks<br />at it, and checks his paper files and folders for your<br />account number. Here he can find your PIN and check<br />the balance. This person then asks you to ENTER your PIN,<br />cross checks it, and if all matches, you can proceed. If not,<br />he keeps your card.<br /> <br />"If you ask for a statement, he types it from his books and<br />you get the printout. If you ask for a withdrawal, he checks<br />the balance and any restrictions, and if all is ok, gives you<br />the amount. He *then* calls all of the other branches and<br />ATMs, tells them how much you've withdrawn, so they can<br />update *their* books.<br /> <br />"Wonder where they find all those little people at??"<br />_______________________________________________<br />"Complaints"<br /> <br />Brother John entered the 'Monastery of Silence' and<br />the Chief Priest said, "Brother, this is a silent monastery,<br />you are welcome here as long as you like, but you may<br />not speak until I direct you to do so."<br /> <br />Brother John lived in the monastery for five years before<br />the Chief Priest said to him: "Brother John, you have been<br />here 5 years now, you may speak two words."<br /> <br />Brother John said, "Hard Bed."<br /> <br />"I'm sorry to hear that" the Chief Priest said. "We will get you<br />a better bed."<br /> <br />After 5 more years, Brother John was called by the Chief<br />Priest. "You may say another two words Brother John."<br /> <br />"Cold Food." said Brother John, and the Chief Priest assured<br />him that the food would be better in the future.<br /> <br />On his 15 year anniversary at the monastery, the Chief Priest<br />again called Brother John into his office. "Two words you may<br />say today."<br /> <br />"I Quit." said Brother John.<br /> <br />"It is probably best." said the Chief Priest. "All you have done<br />since you got here is complain."<br />_______________________________________________<br />"Cow"<br /> <br />There once was a 94 year old nun back in the 1890s<br />whose worn out body began to surrender. Her doctor<br />prescribed for her a shot of whiskey three times a day,<br />to relax her. However, not to be lured into worldly<br />pleasures, she huffily declined.<br /> <br />But her mother superior knew the elderly sister loved<br />milk. So she instructed the kitchen to spike the milk<br />three times a day. Eventually, the elderly pious one<br />approached her final hour. As several sisters gathered<br />around her at bedside, the mother superior asked if<br />she wanted to leave them any words of wisdom.<br /> <br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br /><br />..<br />.<br />.<br />.<br /><br />..<br />.<br /><br />..<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />"Oh, yes," she replied. "Never sell that cow!"<br />_______________________________________________<br />Now you all have a good weekend. 
