SpinnerBait_Nut
Honorary Moderator Emeritus
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2002
- Messages
- 17,651
"Traffic Court"<br /> <br />A New York man(KKC) was forced to take a day off from<br />work to appear for a minor traffic summons. He<br />grew increasingly restless as he waited hour after<br />endless hour for his case to be heard.<br /> <br />When his name was called late in the afternoon,<br />he stood before the judge, only to hear that court<br />would be adjourned for the next day and he would<br />have to return the next day.<br /> <br />"What for?" KKC snapped at the judge.<br /> <br />His honor, equally irked by a tedious day and sharp<br />query roared, "Twenty dollars contempt of court. That's<br />why!"<br /> <br />Then, noticing the man checking his wallet, the judge<br />relented. "That's all right. You don't have to pay now."<br /> <br />Then KKC replied, <br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />"I'm just seeing if I have enough for two more words."<br />_______________________________________________<br />"Victoria Station"<br /> <br />A man travelling on a train ask the ticket collector<br />what time the train stops at Victoria.<br /> <br />"This train doesn't stop at Victoria, its the express."<br />"Your joking!, I NEED to get off at Victoria."<br />"Sorry sir, this train will not stop at Victoria."<br />"There must be something you can do"<br />"Well there is one thing"<br />"What, anything, I need to get off"<br />"Well, I'll get the driver to slow down and I'll dangle<br />you out the door and lower you onto the platform"<br /> <br />"My goodness! Will that work?"<br /> <br />"It's worth a try."<br /> <br />The train approaches the platform at 50 mph. The ticket<br />collector hangs the man in mid air out the door. The man<br />starts running! The man is running in mid air. "Run faster!<br />Run faster!" The ticket collector lowers the man down.<br />The mans feet touch the platform! Smoke flies of his<br />shoes and his heel comes off. The man is running for<br />his life!<br /> <br />The ticket collector lets go. The man is running at 30mph!!<br />He's made it, he begins to slow down. He's still running at<br />20mph along side the train as the other passengers watch<br />in amazement. As the last carriage goes by a hand grabs<br />the man by the shirt collar and lifts him back onto the train.<br /> <br />As he's being pulled into the carriage he hears a voice say..<br /> <br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />"Your lucky I was here to help, this train doesn't even stop at Victoria!!!!"
