First Wife Stories

[Mark42]

Thought this might make for some interesting reading if some of the funny or ironic aspects of failed fist marriages are posted... <br /><br />So here is my bit of gossip....<br /><br />Met my first wife while working part time at a big name high end department store. She managed womans better (expensive) dresses. She was slim and pretty and new how to dre$$ and came from a wealthy family in a exclusive town. <br /><br />Back then I was in great physical shape, working part time to pay college expenses. We ended up getting married, bought a house and proceeded to have NO children. But we did spend a lot of money on cars, cloths and going out. <br /><br />Wife was always on my back about loosing 10 lbs or so that I gained during our 8 years together. Image was everything. All my cloths had somebody's name on them.<br /><br />Anyway, I get her a job with the company I work for in the computer field. Then she decides she wants a divorce.<br /><br />We divorce "amicably". She ends up marrying a good looking single man from work. Sharp dresser. Type "A" personality, just like her.<br /><br />I often wonder how they get along, seeing as this guy has gained about 100 lbs since they were married and his hair is receding. Not quite the image she had in mind for a husband, I'm sure. <br /><br />Ahhh, the irony in it. Priceless

 

[dolluper]

Re: First Wife Stories

As long as your that's all that counts

 

[LadyFish]

Re: First Wife Stories

She must be a great cook!

 

[SpinnerBait_Nut]

Re: First Wife Stories

Originally posted by LadyFish:<br /> She must be a great cook!

Yea but I bet she didn't cut all the grass.

 

[Mark42]

Re: First Wife Stories

Ladyfish:

She must be a great cook!

Are you kidding? Might break a nail. Much easier to make reservations.

 

[gaugeguy]

Re: First Wife Stories

My first wife liked to throw things at me when she got "tinkled" at me. So one day we are sitting at the dinner table and I said something that got her goat. She picks up a full glass of milk to toss at me, when she bent her arm back to throw it, the milk splashed all over her face. I laughed so hard I thought I was gonna pass out. <br /><br />Another one of her quirks was when she was mad, she liked to clean the house to get rid of her frustrations. I lived in the cleanest house around, you could have eaten a full course meal off of the toilet seat <br /><br />And one more...one day we were at the beach, she was sunning herself and I was in the ocean surfing. She sees a pod of dolphins swimming by and starts yelling "sharks, sharks". You should have seen the people doing a mass exodus from the water. She got tinkled about that one too and left me there. <br /><br />We are still great friends today though.

 

[Tyme2fish]

Re: First Wife Stories

It's been 27 years since the first and I split. I can think of absolutely nothing humorous about the experience.

 

[SpinnerBait_Nut]

Re: First Wife Stories

Originally posted by Tyme2fish:<br /> It's been 27 years since the first and I split. I can think of absolutely nothing humorous about the experience.

It's been 33 years since me and mine met and I can't either. <br /><br />EDIT: J/K she is the best.

 

[NYMINUTE]

Re: First Wife Stories

My first wife was unemployed at the divorce, so I finally found her a job she was qualified for. That was a scare crow at a local farm. Being ugly as she was, I felt she could do the job well.<br />I asked the farmer who employed her a few weeks later how she was doing and he replied, " Man she is soooo ugly that the crows are bringing back crap they stole 2 years ago"

 

[eeboater]

Re: First Wife Stories

My first wife... er, wait, I'm still married to her.<br /><br />I'll shutup now....<br /><br /><br />Sean

 

[SpinnerBait_Nut]

Re: First Wife Stories

If a man has enough "horse sense" to treat his wife like a thoroughbred, she will never be an old nag.<br />'nuff said.

 

[wajajaja]

Re: First Wife Stories

hey mark, if u be driving thru lafayette someday and shadow befalls u, it may be the exwife blocking the sun, i tip my hat the the new hubby

 

[Triton II]

Re: First Wife Stories

My ex-wife (the only one I've had!) and I got married 18 years ago so we could start a family. I was 29, she was 25. She comes from a french/english background and getting her married off was her family's ambition. Her younger sister (19 at the time) was already married and had a little one on the way so the pressure was on. The first time I met her grandmother the very first words that came out of the old lady's mouth were: "So when are you going to make an honest woman of my grand-daughter?"<br />Basically I was f'ed from the start! <br />Half a house, a car and half my superannuation went her way four years ago. That's the bad side.<br />The good side is that we had 12 great years together, have three wonderful boys who now live with me most of the time and I'm very happily divorced. I'm really pleased she ran off with my sister's ex-husband! No really - she did - VERY weird!

 

[Twidget]

Re: First Wife Stories

My first wife had a bit of a temper. She would start throwing stuff and hitting when she was angry. <br /><br />I had the bright idea one day of just driving off when she started slapping/punching. Didn't work, she followed me outside, climbed on the hood of the car, holding on to the windshield wipers, screaming at top of her lungs.<br /><br />Hmmm, I dont miss her very much for some reason. I do think about her every time the weather gets cold though. Thanks to her temper and my slow reflexes, I ended up having reconstructive knee surgery.

 

[SpinnerBait_Nut]

Re: First Wife Stories

Man, do I ever feel blessed.

 

[FSHKPR]

Re: First Wife Stories

ME TOO!!

 

[Twidget]

Re: First Wife Stories

I did much better the second time around. Its been 17 years now.

 

[LubeDude]

Re: First Wife Stories

Actually my first wife married me for my car, 68 Corvette. Sold the car to buy a house a few years later. Marriage lasted 12 years, she never was the same after we sold the car. Great wife, great mother, too good of a mother, after the kid came, I didnt exhist anymore. I was the one that asked for the devorce, ended peacefull, Now Im married again for 21 more years, never had it so good, we spend time trying to see who can spoil the other one the most. We are true soul mates, wouldnt know what to do without her. Hey, and she loves to fish.

 

[Elmer Fudge]

Re: First Wife Stories

Originally posted by SBN:<br /> If a man has enough "horse sense" to treat his wife like a thoroughbred, she will never be an old nag.<br />'nuff said.

I'm in agreement with that.

 

[Tyme2fish]

Re: First Wife Stories

Second wife and I will celebrate 25th anniversary this June. She has given me two wonderful sons and 25 years of bliss. Of course the joke is when someone asks, "How long have you been married?" I answer, We've been happily married for 13 years. Together for 26. I figure 50 percent happy is OK."<br /> On a sideline, shes the 12th out of 12 kids. Anything I give her or do for her is like Christmas for her. She grew up with no running water or indoor plumbing.