Daughter needs some advice.(update, its over)

[one more cast]

My daughter, 24 ,moved into an apt.in Binghamton after living in the country all her life. Last night a downstairs neighbor, 40ish, showed up at her door drunk with a 12 pack wanting to come in and watch football with her.She said no and he said he wanted to take her dancing,to dinner,go on a date. She didn't let him in and got him to leave but he said he was coming back tomorrow night(tonight). My daughter said she thought something like this would happen because he happens to be standing by the door every time she gets home. His apt. is next to the driveway so he can see when she comes and goes. This guy lives with his elderly mother. I told her to tell him straight out that she is not interested and if he keeps bothering her to call the landlord but I'm not sure that is the best way to handle it. Any advise?

 

[rodbolt]

Re: Daughter needs some advice.(update, its over)

not only would I notify the landlord but ask the local cops or constable to have a nice chat with him. a 40 year old mommas boy with a 12pack is not good chasing a single female of 24.<br /> I dont think I would wait for a next time.

 

[Limited-Time]

Re: Daughter needs some advice.(update, its over)

I would go the same route as rodbolt. And if she has any Male friends she could enlist for help. If they were to accompany her home and confront the Looser it may help. Make sure she has a jumbo size can of Pepper Spray close at hand all times, JIC the situation turns confrontational. Good luck with it.

 

[one more cast]

Re: Daughter needs some advice.(update, its over)

Thanks, I sent her the link to this post.

 

[Ross J]

Re: Daughter needs some advice.(update, its over)

Good advice from all here, My .02c - I don't know what it's called in the states but over here there's a "Non Molestation Order" that is presented to the offender when they present a threat to somebody. They must keep away or face the courts. Individuals can present these and the police get a copy. The police flag it on the computer in case of a call. Generally efficient as the offender knows folk are watching.<br /><br />If too big a problem then take along a few cousins from redneck country and sort it out the old fashioned way!<br />Ross

 

[dolluper]

Re: Daughter needs some advice.(update, its over)

Maybe if she talked to the guy's mumma, tell her she's not interested in her drunken son ,mumma might have a better effect on him ,you know how mother is always right eh!!!!

 

[oddjob]

Re: Daughter needs some advice.(update, its over)

Some Momma's might incourage their son just because there sons can do no wrong.<br /><br />My father always says that if he murdered someone or or did something terrible, and police told her she would probably respond with, " My son did what?!...well, that person must have had it coming to them". It was self defence!..<br /><br />If she said no and he persists, thats harasment and probably stalking....right? Come on he waiting for her and after rejection he says he'll be back tommorrow. She needs to meet this head on....the longer she waits the more he thinks shes wearing down. Some weirdos wont take no for an answer.....

 

[LadyFish]

Re: Daughter needs some advice.(update, its over)

Personally, I would be a little nervous about making him angry right off the bat without knowing more about him.<br /><br />Maybe she should tell him, she is already seeing someone and she's not interested. He's evidently been watching her every move which is already scarey. Maybe he does this everytime a new girl moves in. Who knows. But to be fair, if he dosen't take the hint and keeps bugging her, she should inform him that he's scaring her and that she will contact the police if he dosen't stop. A phone call to the police right now certainly won't hurt, you never know this guy may have a record or something. It scares the dookie outta me.<br /><br />I totally agree with the pepper spray. I also agree that she should have her male friends stop over or at least go home with her each night to ensure she's safely in her apartment. I would never go home alone.

 

[SoulWinner]

Re: Daughter needs some advice.(update, its over)

a 12 gauge for inside the apartment, and a small .32 semi auto for her purse or back pocket; one that she can carry concealed in her hand from the car to the front door and visa versa. Complaints to the land lord and the cops (have them come the her apartment) may have success, or they may incite a violent response from this dirt bag. Never open the door if this a-hole is outside or anyone she doesn't recognize and trust. Never answerer the door unarmed. May sound like a crappy way to live, but it IS living, as opposed to .........?<br /><br />Oh, and if she can get video recorder, set it up where she can easily but clandestinely record the actions of this guy around her. Would be handy if she needed proof for judge to issue a restraining order.

 

[kenimpzoom]

Re: Daughter needs some advice.(update, its over)

Calm down guys, he is just hitting on a woman (sorry to put it that way OMC). Can't blame a guy for trying.<br /><br />I guess I would have been blind or dead if yalls daughter would have lived near me back when I was single.<br /><br />She needs to tell him she has a boyfriend and he will go away.<br /><br />If he doesnt, then you get a bit more worried.<br /><br />Ken

 

[neumanns]

Re: Daughter needs some advice.(update, its over)

Daughter,...Your first thought is proabably: I cannot believe dad shared this. Were all friends here and genuinly do care for the safty and well being of eachother and there family.<br /><br />Firstoff You need to take actions to be able to fend him off if need be.<br /><br />Second: Don't pawn this off as he was drunk, that waiting at the door is creepy!<br /><br />Third: start looking for a new place, I know ya can take care of yourself but, it aint worth the risk to yourself or the worry to your dad.<br /><br />And finally forth, this is the most important so listen vary carefully...take a day to go fishing with the old man, just remember he buys bait and lunch but you get to choose where.<br />

 

[Wimperdink]

Re: Daughter needs some advice.(update, its over)

speak his language... tell him the case of herpes has flared up again and she needs to wait awhile before dating again.<br /><br />not suggesting she has them but I can bet he'll leave her well enough alone.

 

[rogerwa]

Re: Daughter needs some advice.(update, its over)

Pepper spray is a definite yes.. Tell him she doesn't like men.. He's wasting his time. <br /><br />OR <br /><br />Get a fake engagement ring..

 

[ndemge]

Re: Daughter needs some advice.(update, its over)

Dress up like a nun..... or a cop

 

[jtexas]

Re: Daughter needs some advice.(update, its over)

Creepy is right.<br /><br />Of course who among us hasn't done stupid things when drunk, hopefully it was a one-time stupid human trick.<br /><br />If he does come back tonight I would advise my daughter to call the police...I believe our PD here would send an officer to take her story & have a chat with the guy.<br /><br />How far from Binghamton to Back Woods Upstate? Might it be a good day for a visit from Dad?<br /><br />Good luck.

 

[one more cast]

Re: Daughter needs some advice.(update, its over)

Daughter said thanks for all the advice. I just got off the phone with her and she said he told her he was 32 but he looks older and when she told him to go home he did but while leaving told her to "just think about it" and she told him no.She said his mother had a stroke and he takes care of her and she seen him helping her get on a bus so maybe this guy is just looking for a date. I told her to call the police and find out where to get pepper spray and tell them the situation. I think pepper spray is illegal in NY though. I live about 3 hours away but told her I would come down if she wanted me to.

 

[neumanns]

Re: Daughter needs some advice.(update, its over)

Maybe the guy had a little liquid courage onbaord and made a tactless advance, and weather we admit it or not most guys oogle women. But I still say waiting at the door or coming to the door to watch when she returns is a bad sign.

 

[wajajaja]

Re: Daughter needs some advice.(update, its over)

Peper spray, comes in varying strenth and can be illegal depending on the state, but better judged by 12 than carried by six. <br /> shes a boater, (you) so maybe she should store a padle, life jacket and some safty items handy, like a flare pistol, loaded, for the winter. at her house.

 

[SS MAYFLOAT]

Re: Daughter needs some advice.(update, its over)

My one precious daughter that never asks for anyhing (unbelieveable huh?) lives in a bad neighborhood. She too is always confronted about going out with guys in her area. <br /><br />She uses lines like:<br /><br />Sorry, I don't think you make enough money to make me happy.<br /><br />Your not my preferred sex.<br /><br />I'm pregnant with my boyfriends baby.<br /><br />Whats your religion? I'm sorry, I can't date you because I'm _______.<br /><br />I told my boyfriend and dad about you and they don't take kindly to your advancements, so please back off.<br /><br />This daughter is big enough to kick the crap out of just about any guy, so things that work for her may not work for others.<br /><br />Good Luck, letting the local PD department would be a wise choice though.

 

[LubeDude]

Re: Daughter needs some advice.(update, its over)

Originally posted by LadyFish:<br /> It scares the dookie outta me.<br /><br />

Is that the Iboats word for S&%$?