Dating and faith

[rwise]

Ok many of you know that I recently divorced my wife of 24 years. Well I have meet this lady who seems to like me and I like her also. Heres the deal though, she is Jewish. Now I know not to feed her pork. With the holidays coming up I would like to show her that I can respect her beliefs, but not really knowing her religion inside out I need a few tips. So let em fly. I am not Jewish, nor Christian, I do respect ones right to choose there own beliefs. I really don't want to do something to disrespect her (like trying to feed her pork).<br />Richard

 

[tommays]

Re: Dating and faith

i am not and expert but at least here there are a wide varity of jewish groups with different ways of doing things<br /><br />Hasidic Judaism,Orthodox Judaism,and a bunch of others<br /><br />ther is a big difference just in how some keep there kitchen VS others<br /><br />so its tough to say with out narrowing down her beliefs and how close she follows them<br /><br /><br />tommays

 

[QC]

Re: Dating and faith

If you plan on butchering anything in front of her, you better read up . . . <br /><br />I am sure you could Google Kosher and get a lot of help.<br /><br />Here is a little reading that you might find enlightening and worthy of conversation. Good luck with her. Jewish values are building blocks for American values and in some examples I think more just than some Christian values . . .<br /><br />Hanukkah in the White House

 

[rwise]

Re: Dating and faith

She seems to not follow real closely, not Orthodox. The religious symbol I have spotted is around her neck. I don't think She attends service anywhere if she does she has not mentioned it. She has told me that she does not like steak, but will eat a hamburger from time to time. She really enjoyed the fish place I took her Saturday. Maybe that will help, some.

 

[BassCat73]

Re: Dating and faith

I think you might learn a bunch of good things in this thread, but I think you'll learn even more by having a conversation about religion with her. I would think she'll appreciate you bringing it up. You might be able to educate yourself a bit from this thread and a little research elsewhere, so conversation is not so one-sided. Regardless of the religion, I think it's important to find out how strict she is within her own religion. Assuming she is open to a relationship with someone outside of her faith, then she'll appreciate this conversation and you'll show her a deeper, caring side of you because you want to respect her faith. Good luck!

 

[roscoe]

Re: Dating and faith

I'm with BassCat.<br />But don't discuss religion, discuss how her (and your) religions may effect what you do and where you go on a date.<br /><br />Next date, let her pick the restraunt.<br /><br />I had a Jewish boss that threw us a Christmas party in her home, she served ham, and she ate it also. Go figure.

 

[rwise]

Re: Dating and faith

Quietcat thanx for the link I'm printing that out know.<br /><br /><br />Basscat I have talked a little with her on our beliefs and the differences. She is willing to give it a shot and so am I. Sometimes a little education goes a long way. She doesn't seem to strict in her faith or she wouldn't even consider me. I understand that dear may also be a nono, and many hunters in my family!<br /><br />roscoe I think she is wanting to fix me a homemade diner, can't wait! And yes I will talk with her about these things, really just looking for some points to hit on.

 

[deputydawg]

Re: Dating and faith

Make it simple and ask her what she wants and how she wants it.<br /><br />This will avoid any embarassment for both of you.

 

[rwise]

Re: Dating and faith

deputydawg from what I am reading so far thats great advice. There is a lot to this, but I do like her values, much like my own.

 

[rwise]

Re: Dating and faith

Ok, when I took her to the fish place she got shrimp, that ain't kosher! So maybe I'm not in as much trouble here as I thought.

 

[one more cast]

Re: Dating and faith

rwise,<br /> Just be honest with her from the get go and tell her what you told us. I'm sure you won't offend her if you ask her about her beliefs.

 

[DJ]

Re: Dating and faith

As DD said.<br /><br />Don't ask us, ask HER!<br /><br />If she likes you, she'll tell you. If not-don't worry about it.

 

[BassCat73]

Re: Dating and faith

Yes, thanks for clarifying what I was trying to say about having a conversation. It basically comes down to getting to know each other better. From what it sounds like rw, you are doing just fine and don't have too much to worry about.

 

[rolmops]

Re: Dating and faith

It seems we are in the same boat.My wife is jewish,but then again so am I.<br />The very fact that she is willing to go out with you and eat shrimp,means that she is very assimilated into american culture.So it is probably time to go beyond her being jewish as a religion and find out what being jewish as a culture means.<br />You should be prepared to be a lot with very close knit family.Be ready for a lot of emotional things right out in the open.things like tears,crying,laughter,embracing and hugging. The laying of guilt trips is a favorite hobby.You must learn to eat chopped liver and gefillte fish(ground carp)and tell the 85 year old grandma who made it how great it is.You should realize that food is the most important part of any jewish get together.People are judged by how they make their brisket.Never just eat a meal.You must learn how to eat and talk and listen to other people talk a lot while nobody pays attention to what they say and there is always the next thing to eat.You should not go hungry!!.If you get serious,you will become part of a family,not just your girlfriend.<br />Remember these important words:love,family, food,guilt and gelt.<br />If you are italian or greek you would probably feel right at home.<br />One more thing.If she invites you over and she serves a brisket,it means that she is very serious about you.Praise her cooking lavishly and repeatedly or you will never hear the end of it.She will complain about all the hours she slaved in the kitchen just so you would have something to eat and all you could do was eat and grunt.<br />There is a jewish cook book that mothers give to their daughters.It is called:"The Way To A Man's Heart".(and how to control it)

 

[rodbolt]

Re: Dating and faith

Rwise<br /> your getting good advice.<br /> I am in a similar situation with a gal I have been dating about 4 years in VE,<br /> the culteure shock is wiered.<br /> but if I dont understand something I ask questions of her. be aware that screaming matches at the dinner table, in some cultures, I think actually means they love each other .<br /><br /> but thats usually about the time I have to go to the bathroom .<br /> but her life values and intrests are similar to mine, I speak no spanish, she speaks english and is a translator, her mom, that she still lives with, speaks no english, some of the family speaks limited to no english and we all get along well.<br /> mostly she makes me feel good and I make her feel good.<br /> its part of the human needs pyramid.<br /> just be aware there may be areas of impasse, you and her need to identify any such areas and plan for them.<br /> and best of all, good luck and enjoy the experience.

 

[theriver]

Re: Dating and faith

<br /><br />

 

[agitator]

Re: Dating and faith

I have an adopted son whose mother is jewish as well as many jewish friends. We get along famously and a true jewish friend is the best friend you will ever have. We all respect each others preferences and private matters. Religeon or food preferences and taboos are never an issue. My Jewish friends are about as indignant about the attacks on Christmas as I am. It all comes down to quality of character and how comfortable you are with each other. Just my 2 cents worth. Oh yes, my son turned out to be a world class athlete and marathon runner (Berlin, Paris etc.) senior military officer and father to his 3 children. Both Gulf wars, Somalia, Bosnia and several black assignments. I am proud of him.

 

[rwise]

Re: Dating and faith

Ok, we do talk a lot so far, I have never sat in a restaurant for so long. She tells me that she is very comfortable around me, and I think thats a good thing. Neither one of us are in a hurry to commit to a long term relationship, for now we just want to know each other better. Myself I am very into family, my kids are around all the time, along with my brothers (as in more than one brother) kids. I have a busy house hold and I love it. She and I seem to have a lot in common, looks ;like we need to talk about things more serious to us, like I love my sausage with breakfast. I don't mind telling someone there dish is great (if it is) and being polite if not. I have a very open household, my kids (and others) can and do talk about anything!!!<br /><br />Thanx one and all!<br /><br />agitator, from what you say here I am proud of him too! Good job!

 

[dogsdad]

Re: Dating and faith

I'd say just don't pretend to know anything at all and be ready to go along with a suggestion. Be honest and admit your ignorance of the subject. Relax and be yourself! People get themselves locked into bad relationships because they try to hard to please and accomodate someone they are interested in...that's the worst way to approach the search for a mate.

 

[rwise]

Re: Dating and faith

dogdad, all I can be is me, no games no pretending just me. So if it works it works if not I have still found a friend.