Hi guys, <br /><br />read most of these posts and had a good laugh.. so here are my confessions, after all, its supposed to be good for the soul..<br /><br />when I first started boating, I had lots of enthusiasm and not much common sense or money.. as a result I always had old junk.. particularly the outboards..<br /><br />rule number 1. learn where the shallow spots are before you go hooning at WOT..<br /><br />I had a 40 horse evin lark on a 16 foot half cabin.. decided it wasn't fast enough, started looking for a second 40 to run them tandem.. found a suzuki 40.. different size leg, prop and everything else, steering was a broom handle running between motors hooked to cable steering.. <br /><br />boat went really fast but was really really hard to keep upright and in one direction.. we were confident of not having to be towed because we had two motors... 1 hour into the trip there was a loud clang and the suzuki lept into the air and then disapeared behind the transom.. (the leg was haning on the back by the throttle linkage and cables.. luckly the powerhead didn't get submerged..<br /><br />no problem thinks I... we'll just secure that with some rope and proceed with the evinrude..<br /><br />So anyway we fish for a few hours, got about 10 miles from where we started.. decided it was time to head back in.. started the ole evin and headed home.. now the old evin was a selectric and if there is no power, there is no gearbox.. so halfway home the battery runs dead and all of a sudden we have a running powerhead with no way of getting the drive to the water.. (default is neutral on those things.) <br /><br />afer stressing for a while, we tied what was left of the suzuki to the back of the boat more securly and in better position, then took the cut broom handle and roped it into place as a tiller..<br /><br />there was no throttle as the linkage was clagged, so we went home at idle... took hours and hours..<br /><br />but we got there...<br /><br />about a year later, (got rid of the suzi, but still had the evin) we went out to watch the skyshow.. (big fireworks display) show went well, heading the 10 or so miles home and the wires that run down the inside of the leg to control the gearbox touch, stick to, and melt against the exhaust... so now I'm stuck with an outboard that only goes in reverse.. it gets worse because I didn't know about rubber impellers back then and had never changed this one, in reverse, it wasn't getting any water forced into the pickup, so the paint on the powerhead starts smoking and I have to kill the engine.<br /><br />I was half tanked at the time, so I thought, "no problem, I can jump in and tow the boat up the river till we find a good place to beach it and send for the car/trailer.. so I proceeded to tow a 16 foot half cabin with 6 people in it, about a mile up the river.. stopped at a marker pole for a rest and got barnicle scratches up both legs and on my stomach.. (I had drank over a carton of beer by that time, (I was drinking while swimming) so I didn't notice till later.)<br /><br />anyway, kept swimming, finially found a small beach area in a council park.. sent someone sober in a taxi to go pickup the car,, when they got there I had to pull out one of the 4 meter pine logs to get the car into the park.. the guy driving it misstimed and my car got a lovely 2 foot long crease in the door from one of the pole uprights.<br /><br />the story continues.. we put the trailer in the water, the boat on the trailer.. and proceeded to try and leave,, didn't work as the trailer sank up to the axels in the sand and wasn't going anywhere.<br /><br />so, in a spark of inspiration, I take the car off.. tie the boat to the trailer with rope, disconnect the winch from the boat, tie the winch to a tree, and get a mate to wind the winch while another tries to keep the hitch out of the sand and I am around the back with the 4 meter pine log I took from the fence trying to lever the trailer out of the water...<br /><br />did it work I hear you ask??? he!! now, corse not... the winch cable snapped I got dunked and the hitch buried itself in the sand..<br /><br />It was now 4 in the morning, lots of people had to work the next day and it was decided they were taking the car and going home.. I refused to leave the boat.. so they took the car and trailer and I beached the front of the boat, used the anchor to stop me drifting away.. and climbed into the cabin to sleep till morning (soaking wet, now blankets or other clothes, and rather cold.)<br /><br />morning comes, and I awake to find myself sleeping with my feet a foot higher then my head.. (and still soaking wet.)<br /><br />Turns out I had forgotten to tilt up the motor and the tide had gone out.. so I now had the bottom half of the outboard buried in the sand and the water is 3 feet behind the back of the boat..<br /><br />I wandered around for ages waiting till the tide came back in, and in my wandering I found an old canoe paddle in the mud.. so I decide to try rowing the boat the 2 miles up the river to the boat ramp where my car is again waiting for me..<br /><br />took me an hour or two to get the boat back in the water and facing the right way, then I started paddling. that worked for a little while.. then the tide started going out again.. I only had one paddle so I start madly paddling and swapping sides to keep it staight.. its a losing battle, I am now about 1mile further down the river then I was when I started... <br /><br />so I gave up, threw the anchor, and started fishing.. eventually I an old guy came past in an old wooden clinker and towed me to the ramp, laughing himself silly at my story the whole time.<br /><br />I stayed out of the boat for a year after that..<br /><br />There was an upside though,, there was a girl I didn't know on the boat that night, (a friend invited her.) she was very impressed with my buffed appearance (after towing a ton of boat up the river a mile and trying to lever the boat out with a 4 meter pine log I was pretty pumped up 
<br /><br />anyway, she hit on my shortly thereafter and we've been together ever since..<br /><br />prior to that whole experiance, I had run out of fuel, left the bungs out.. hit sandbars... you name it I did it..<br /><br />as a result I am now a safe and knowledgeable boater... after all, I made all the mistakes in the world.. it could only get better...<br /><br />Thats my story,, hope it gives you a laugh.. my lady and I p!ss ourselves laughing when we reminise on our first meeting....<br /><br />have a lovely day. <br /><br />regards<br /><br />Frank<br /><br />can anyone top that for one boat trip???
<br /><br />anyway, she hit on my shortly thereafter and we've been together ever since..<br /><br />prior to that whole experiance, I had run out of fuel, left the bungs out.. hit sandbars... you name it I did it..<br /><br />as a result I am now a safe and knowledgeable boater... after all, I made all the mistakes in the world.. it could only get better...<br /><br />Thats my story,, hope it gives you a laugh.. my lady and I p!ss ourselves laughing when we reminise on our first meeting....<br /><br />have a lovely day. <br /><br />regards<br /><br />Frank<br /><br />can anyone top that for one boat trip???
