Bumps on the head of my baby.

[Mark42]

My little boy Eric is 13 mo now and getting the hang of walking. We are so happy for him. But being a beginner, he does take a dive every few minutes and bumps his head. Usually not badly, but yesterday he fell going up two steps and bumped his head on the corner of the top step that has an aluminum edge on it. Cut his forhead about 3/4" and has a big bruise. Poor little guy. Looks bad. And being very light skin and hair, it looks worse. (If the kid was any lighter, he would be clear.)<br /><br />The thing is my wife doesn't want to take him out because she is afraid people will think we beat him. Last time she was at the doctors office was for our daughters checkup. Eric was there and had a serious rug rash on his nose and forhead that turned to a big brown scab. She told me the nurses were talking in hushed tones while looking and pointing to Eric. She felt very uncomfortable. Then one nurse asks him how he got his "ouch-ouch". Well Eric was only about 12 months old and couldn't talk. Still can't. But that made by wife feel even worse.<br /><br />I tell her to ignore people like that, and kids his age always have bruises on their heads. But she is worried that with all the focus today on child abuse someone will complain to Dyfus. <br /><br />What are the chances of getting into difficulty with Dyfus?

 

[SpinnerBait_Nut]

Re: Bumps on the head of my baby.

Hey Mark, don't sweat the small stuff.<br />All little ones get bumps on the head.<br />Part of growing up.<br /><br />My 3 girls got raised and had bumps along the way. Don't worry. Let the noisey nurses talk.<br />Don't they know it ain't polite to whisper?<br /><br />Just tell em, "you got something to say to me, say it, if not shut up and take care of these sick folk"

 

[KeltonKrew]

Re: Bumps on the head of my baby.

I dropped a can of corn on my daughters eye when she was about 2 yrs old...left a terrible black eye....luckily the day care knew that I was a good parent and understood what happened....<br /><br />so many people take things out of context and try to make big deals out of them.

 

[JamesCoste]

Re: Bumps on the head of my baby.

I'm glad the nurses are inquiring a bit (even if nosey) for the sake of those few children who might be being abused. A trusting child who is being abused might admit, "my daddy hits me" or something along those lines. Of course the child has to be old enough to talk.<br /><br />Just tell your wife to hold her hed up high and don't feel like she has to explain herself unless they ask. Many of them are parents and they, too, will understand.<br /><br />I've got three kids and oftentimes these things just happen. As a parent you feel horrible, but they simply happen.<br /><br />While working on my boat in the driveway when my oldest son was 18 months old, I let him get out of my sight and he got in the road. The only way I knew this happened was some careful and thoughtful driver honked his horn and shouted, "hey you, your son is in the road". That was probably the scariest moment in my life. You can't beat yourself up for accidents that happen, even if they could have been prevented due to our being more careful. We are human and we make mistakes.<br /><br />He'll heal right up in no time.

 

[NYMINUTE]

Re: Bumps on the head of my baby.

All of mine got them too, split lips, bruised nose (as small as they are), knees, & elbows. The boys were especially prone to falling due to their need to run after two steps. No worse for the wear, but today's society people immediatly feel compelled to "call the authorities" if the see a toddler with a bandaid on their knee.

 

[JB]

Re: Bumps on the head of my baby.

I think it is a serious problem, Mark, and that your spouse is correct to be concerned.<br /><br />Once CPS (Child Protective Services here in TX)gets a "report" that you might be abusive parents your life can become a horror story. It is like having Nazi informers living next door to Jews in 1938 Germany.<br /><br />Those people mean well but have the power to take your children away from you. They make a lot of mistakes, both ways.<br /><br />A neighbor, a single Mom, had an accident while playing with her 8YO daughter and broke the girl's arm. She innocently told the nurse at ER that, "Mom broke it.". No amount of explanation by Mom or daughter was able to prevent both of her children being taken away and put in foster care. It took her 2 years and thousands of bux she didn't have to get them back. Now she has to put up with visits from the Gestapo every month.

 

[ehenry]

Re: Bumps on the head of my baby.

Yall know its a thousand wonders any of us were raised by our parents. With all the accidents and goons we all got on our heads, knees, elbows, lips etc. I was raised with 4 older sisters and they beat me sensless almost everyday that my dog wasn't around to protect me. They broke my nose a couple times, tried to cook me once, and tied me up and fed me soap too ! ! ! All this is true, but never did we ever have anyone ever come tell us our folks they were bad parents because they weren't....we were kids, we fought, we played, we learned, we got hurt. <br /><br />Dont let what people say about your boy having a few goons here and there worry you. I promise there will be lots more before its over. By over I mean when he's grown and gone on his own. Just love him and enjoy ! ! !

 

[mellowyellow]

Re: Bumps on the head of my baby.

JB, your story doesn't make any sense IMO.<br />a judge would have had to believe abuse occured<br />to put them in foster care...

 

[KennyKenCan]

Re: Bumps on the head of my baby.

You know, if you'd just stop beating them over the head with that hammer, they just might not get bumps on the head. <br /><br />Sorry, just had to add that!

 

[SpinnerBait_Nut]

Re: Bumps on the head of my baby.

Originally posted by mellowyellow:<br /> JB, your story doesn't make any sense IMO.<br />a judge would have had to believe abuse occured<br />to put them in foster care...

Or one that did not want to listen.<br /><br />Any Judge in their right mine can talk to an 8YO and know if they are telling the truth or not.<br /><br />Sounds to me just a lazy Judge.

 

[Mark42]

Re: Bumps on the head of my baby.

I swear if anyone tried to take my kids, they will leave with bumps on the head. <br /><br />Then I'm the one who gets in trouble. Go figure.

 

[Elmer Fudge]

Re: Bumps on the head of my baby.

It's my hope that some time in the future mankind's epitaph is not inscribed with the words<br /> here lies a world where commonsense did not prevail

 

[TwoBallScrewBall]

Re: Bumps on the head of my baby.

Just move here to NJ, You can kick the crap out of your kids, likely kill them before DYFS (Division of Youth and Family Services) decides to get involved. Just watch the news around here.

 

[cmyers_uk]

Re: Bumps on the head of my baby.

Mark,<br /><br />Its a natural reaction, I had to take my small daughter to hospital because she had pain in her privates I was sure they would think I had molested her or something. In truth they are alot smarter than that and can tell the difference between normal problems (infection in this case) and abuse. Dont worry your having normal worries but im sure they are unfounded. Take him out and hold your head up high

 

[ob]

Re: Bumps on the head of my baby.

My boy too had lots of bumps and bruises through growing up.Once when he was 7 he fell and cut his head on a garden border stone while laying on his skateboard gliding down the sidewalk.Left a sorta bruisy cut.The next day after school I asked what he did today at school expecting to hear the usual.He told me that he was in the principals office for most of the day being asked about his injury.This upsetted the wife and I something fierce,that we had not been contacted about this interrogation process.They had even called over the CPS and the superintendent of schools to participate.Long story short,we contacted them the next day and had a lengthy discussion which cleared their concerns.JB is accurate so far as Texas procedures.We never did regain a mutual family/faculty relationship with the school and never recieved an apaology for their presumptuous tactics.I'm sure there are cases where such a scenario helped to expose an abused child ,but I'm wondering how many other such incidents helped to deteriorate family/faculty relations.

 

[AK_Chappy]

Re: Bumps on the head of my baby.

There is a big difference between a child getting cuts/scrapes and an abused child. That is something that the teachers, and other people who work with children have to watch for.<br /><br />I, for one, would not have any worries about taking my child out and about with a small cut like that. My three boys were always hurting themselves like that. My youngest had 3 stitches in his chin at 18 mos. My oldest should have had stitches just above his eye and below his eybrow where the cat got him. My middle one had to go in for X-rays when he stood on a chair and fell backwards, smacking his head on a concrete floor.<br />Thank goodness, they are all thickheaded like me.<br /><br />The nurses, teachers, etc. did ask the needed questions, but judging from the child's reaction (wanting to be held by parents) and the answers, no problems. No DFYS needed. <br /><br />I had a friend who did get questioned. He worked nights, his wife was not exactly "spot-on". His daughter dressed herself and was waiting at the bus pickup (it was -5 that day). School was out that day, but she was only 7. They had to go through all the other type stuff, but noone took there kids. They were monitored for a few months, no more problems, they were left alone after that. <br /><br />AK Chappy

 

[SpinnerBait_Nut]

Re: Bumps on the head of my baby.

Yea here in Kentucky, they also know by talking to a child and the parents if it is intentional or not.<br /><br />Some people are just happy to get in a spotlight sometimes, they don't stop and think.

 

[JB]

Re: Bumps on the head of my baby.

I agree, MY. It made no sense.<br /><br />Here in TX children are taken by a procedure similar to issue of an arrest warrant. If CPS says the child is in danger they take him/her. Then the courts get involved. It takes more money than most people have. <br /><br />Unfortunately, parents are often presumed guilty until proven innocent. The poorer you are the more guilty you are presumed to be.<br /><br />The truly tragic errors are made when reports are dismissed and the child is later killed. Several cases of that in this area lately, too.<br /><br />That is a thankless and soul-killing job I wouldn't want. I don't trust CPS either way. They make mistakes, and every mistake ruins lives or costs lives.

 

[Carphunter]

Re: Bumps on the head of my baby.

Mark42 brings up some good points that I really never thought about. My boys did some of the same stuff. They got bumps, and bruises, and cuts, and scrapes, ect. I guess I never really thought that anyone would think I was abusing my kids. Heck, my oldest boy, (now 10), has so many floor burns and bruises on his legs from basketball, its a wonder that someone doesn't think he is abused.<br /><br />I wouldn't worry about it Mark. I never did.

 

[Twidget]

Re: Bumps on the head of my baby.

The door swings both ways on the public school here in Texas. If a teacher observes a child that is possibly abused and doesnt report it, that could be their job. <br /><br />My wife is a teacher and has told me some of the rules they are required to work with. The one above, also, if a child wants a hug, teachers are to put their hands behind their back. No contact is allowed with a child under the law.<br /><br />Teachers now, are supposed to be surrogate parents and policemen. Its nuts, but that is the way our elected officials have made it.