Borrowing uncle, when has he gone to far?

[11 footer]

Some of you might remember the story about my uncle and me having to tow him POS boat all the way home, well he's at it again.<br /><br />This guy is always looking for a "deal", trying to find a way to get something for nothing, or cheaper then the other guy. He's always been like this. He's a taker, always asking everyone he knows for "favors" and never going out of his way for anyone else. I've done more freaken "favors" for him. Everything from stuff around his house to putting his boat away for the winter to cleaning it up after he lets it sit uncovered for a year.<br /><br />He has a Harley and goes away for weekends sometimes. For the last two years, he's been calling us asking me to borrow our trailer to tow his bike on. My dad bought the trailer new a few years ago, its just a nice little landscaping trailer, maybe 14' by 5'. My dad doesn't use it, and I only use it when doing different things for my dad, as I have a company trailer for landscaping. So far this summer my uncle has used the trailer once, then he borrowed it to give to a friend, who I don't even know, I thought that was kinda pushing it. Now he calls me last week, and he doesn't ask if its ok, he tells me that he's going to NEED my trailer to go away for the weekend, he’ll be by in five minuetts to pick it up. It wasn’t like he was asking me, he was telling me.<br /><br />Weekend has come and gone, and I don't hear from him. He callls the other day to tell me that he took it to NH and left it at a mechanics shop who's repairing his bike, he says again that he "hopes I don't need it", and it should be back any day now, that way two days ago.<br /><br />Now, MY friend is in a bind and needs a snow plow moved ASAP, he asked if I could give him a hand and take my trailer to move it, it MUST get done tomorrow. Well I have no trailer, I call my uncle and ask whets going on with it, and this is the answer I get "well, do you need it? or are you just checking up on it" Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but WTF? What kind of a thing is that to say? It kinda pissed me off. I told him "well, actually I do. If I had it I' b be taking it to school tomorrow, and moving a plow for my buddy after school" well, he doesn't even seem concerned, or even say he's sorry. I just get a "well, I'm still waiting for the guy to call, i'll let you know"<br /><br />So I still don't have my trailer, or know when it will be back. And I won' t be able to use it tomorrow. If I had it I WOULD be using it.<br /><br />I know for a fact this isn't the last of it, he'll be asking for the trailer again, its almost like he thinks its his now. What he should do is cough up the two grand and buy himself a nice inclosed motorcycle trailer, he can use it has trailer, and a place to keep his bike, as he keeps that in his sisters garauge. But he’ll never do it, its too cheap and would rather mooch of other people. <br /><br />Do you guys think I'd be out of line to telling him he can't use my trailer, and he should go buy his own? I really don't want to cause any problems with him, but I feel like I'm being taken advantage of.

 

[dogsdad]

Re: Borrowing uncle, when has he gone to far?

Tell him you're busy with it and to buy his OWN freekin' trailer next time he wants it. He's essentially telling you "too bad," and it's not even his. You're perfectly justified in telling him "too bad."

 

[JB]

Re: Borrowing uncle, when has he gone to far?

I think that this is your Dad's problem to deal with, Ryan.<br /><br />Few adults are going to cooperate with a "kid", which is what you are to uncle.<br /><br />Get Dad to tell him to get his own trailer, that you need it and it is not his to just take when he wants it.<br /><br />Good luck.

 

[11 footer]

Re: Borrowing uncle, when has he gone to far?

Good point JB, but thats just the prolbem. <br /><br />My uncle really should be calling my dad to ask for the trailer, but he doesn't have the balls to ask my dad for it. Guess he see's me as easier. My dad knows how he is and feels the same way I do about it, but it doesn't really affect him, so its more of my prolbem them his, because I actually use it every once and awhile. My dad actually reffers to the trailer as being mine, not his.

 

[dakk1]

Re: Borrowing uncle, when has he gone to far?

Oh no. One of those family deals. Don't you just hate those. I have some free loadin' kin folks. Guess we all do. Let's see. Chain it to a tree and tell him you lost the key. Let the air out of the tires. Keep it at a buddies house. Tell him you loaned it to a buddy and he's on his way to get it. Or, chain his Harley to at tree and throw the key away. Let the air out of the Harleys tires. Or, better yet start borrowing his Harley for the weekend. Hmmmm. He probably won't like that. Maybe he'll get the message. <br /><br />Dave..

 

[wildbill59]

Re: Borrowing uncle, when has he gone to far?

I agree with JB. Who has title to the trailer? If it's your dad then it's his problem after all it's his brother. Must be some kind of old sibling thing. <br /><br />I never understood why wanna be Harley riders want to trailer their bikes and then go for a ride. Bike vibrate too much for that long of a ride? Never saw the boys in the movie "Easy Rider" put their bikes on trailers. If it broke they threw em in the back of a pickup.<br /><br />If you don't have the balls to tell him where to go just find someplace else to store it and when he asks tell him it's being lent out to a friend.

 

[Boomyal]

Re: Borrowing uncle, when has he gone to far?

Next time he calls Ryan, just tell him he needs to ask your dad. Just arrainge it with your dad before hand.

 

[jtexas]

Re: Borrowing uncle, when has he gone to far?

Telling him he can go buy his own, or telling him "too bad", is disrespectful, which I won't tell you not to do, but here's another alternative:<br /><br />If you don't want to dis him, you can just say, "sorry, it just won't work out." You don't owe him any more explanation than that. But if you want to explain, just say, "sometimes things come up, and we need to know we can get to it if we need it." Or something reasonable & respectful. It might **** him off same as saying "too bad," but you'll have the high road & hopefully that'll give you support of rest of family.<br /><br />The madder he gets, the calmer you get. "Sorry, just wouldn't work out." That can be kind of fun sometimes, in a sadistic sort of way.<br /><br />good luck.

 

[11 footer]

Re: Borrowing uncle, when has he gone to far?

If it's your dad then it's his problem after all it's his brother.

Not my dads brother, my dads brother inlaw. He is married to my mouthers sister

 

[wildbill59]

Re: Borrowing uncle, when has he gone to far?

Then it's even easier to tell the deadbeat what to do. Blood is blood, in-laws have been known to be out-laws pretty quick. Good luck. WB

 

[roscoe]

Re: Borrowing uncle, when has he gone to far?

Just the fact that he has a Harley and trailers it should tell you somethin ain't right.<br /><br />When he brings it back, slap him once. Aw heck, slap him trice. Then slap a lock on it and tell him there is a shop down the road that rents trailers.<br /><br />And stop answering your cell when he calls.

 

[RPJS]

Re: Borrowing uncle, when has he gone to far?

A very good friend of mine gave me some good advice when I asked if I could borrow his chain saw.<br /><br />"You can borrow anything I own, damage it you keep it and by me a new one, ask to borrow the same thing more than twice you have a need for it and should buy one for yourself"

 

[SS MAYFLOAT]

Re: Borrowing uncle, when has he gone to far?

Ryan, it is noble of you trying to help your dad out. However, I agree with the others in this case. Your dad is the one that needs to put his foot down on his BIL. With the ownership being in your dads name, he is liable for trailer.

 

[stan_deezy]

Re: Borrowing uncle, when has he gone to far?

and my two cents worth is this:<br /><br />if you tell him the next time that "no, sorry, you can't borrow the trailer" then it makes you a stronger person.<br /><br />It will be sheer hell going through life being unable to say "no" to people, trust me

 

[Limited-Time]

Re: Borrowing uncle, when has he gone to far?

Ryan,<br /> It's your dads problem not yours. It’s an inconvenience for you. Ask your dad to deal with it. Or use your company trailer to move the plow. If you really want to get your point across E-Mail your Borrowing Uncle a link to this thread. I'm sure he'll get the point.

 

[KRS]

Re: Borrowing uncle, when has he gone to far?

Asking is precisely that.... asking. When you say Yes... then what's he to think? Yes means, well yes unless you are a married woman then it means maybe... nevermind.<br /><br />People SHOULD be prepared to receive one of two answers when they ask a question... one is Yes, the other is No. If they aren't willing to accept either one... then they weren't really asking to begin with.

 

[kenimpzoom]

Re: Borrowing uncle, when has he gone to far?

Stand up for yourself and tell him he doesnt return your trailer in a timely manner, therefore he cant borrow it any more.<br /><br />Ask him to rent one for you use since he has your tied up.<br /><br />Ken

 

[ehenry]

Re: Borrowing uncle, when has he gone to far?

Ryan, my suggestion to you is...the next time he calls for the trailer tell him he's going to have to call your dad. Buy a tougne lock and lock the hitch down on the trailer so he can't hook up to it. Depending on how far away the trailer is from you, I'd go get it, bring it home and lock it down and let him worry about getting his bike home. <br /><br />It was wrong of him to leave the trailer at the repair shop anyway. Your Dad should tell him to go get it and bring it home cause theres no telling when the guy at the shop will call him. <br /><br />I had a similar problem with a family memeber and my trailer. He'd come get it with out asking and I'd have to call him to find out if he had it and he always did. He even did like your uncle did you, he'd call my son or wife but never me when he did ask. I bought a lock for the tounge hitch and kept the key. He called one day asking why there was a lock on the trailer where no one could hook up to it. I told him it was to keep the trailer from being stolen. His reply was "Well, you know if somebody wants to steal it that lock isnt going to stop them.". I told him it also kept the trailer at the house for when we needed it...it was at that point he realized why the lock was put on the trailer and he broke down and bought his own trailer.

 

[Homerr]

Re: Borrowing uncle, when has he gone to far?

I had a very similar situation with my OWN brother. Constantly borrowing stuff and never bringing it back.<br />He always had something that needed fixing too, and since I was the most 'mechanical/technical' person of the faimly, I would always lend a hand.<br /><br />I eventually just had to say NO... even though it was my bro. Sometimes you just have to do it.<br /><br />I agree though... It's you Dad's issue.<br /><br />Good luck,<br /><br />H.

 

[SpinnerBait_Nut]

Re: Borrowing uncle, when has he gone to far?

Tell your dad to talk to him. He will pay more attention to him than he will you. That's nature.<br /><br />You can excuse it once, but when they start doing it over and over, they are taking advantage of you.<br /><br />The 'ol saying is "screw me once, shame on you, screw me twice, shame on me"<br /><br />Good luck with whatever you do.<br />I just hope he don't have a powerwasher. <br />Sorry, just had to throw that in there.