Bad luck gets worse

[SS MAYFLOAT]

With the problems with my son Carl, now I have got bad news with my wife. She went to the doctor last Wednesday. They found a lump in her breast and now have scheduled surgery for this coming Tuesday. The doctor assures us that it will be a routine procedure. Ohhh I hate when routine is used. That is when attention to detail gets forgot about. <br /><br />For Carl? What an idiot. He was court ordered to do 10 hours community service, submit minimal of 3 tests a week to his school, and to quit smoking pot.<br /><br />He has failed to submitt is tests on the basis of the courts decesion and failed to complete his community service. He has admitted to me he still smokes pot and brags on him passing his urine tests.<br /><br />I have emailed, called, and dropped off messages at the probation officer to let him know Carl still does not care about the courts ruling.<br /><br />He is starting on new meds this coming week. I just hope it doesn't keep him zombiefied like the present meds are. They make him sleep about 18 hours in a 24 hour period. He has no motivation, self esteem, and doesn't care about anything except how to have fun with his friends.<br /><br />5 more months to go. I think he is headed to the detention hall this time. He has been slapped on the hands 3 times now and has become prone to thinking nothing is going to happen to him. <br /><br />He no longer has his car, drivers license, vidio games, limited use of the computer for school, only allowed to receive calls from selected friends, and no more smokes from me or his step mom. What a mess this is. He only has one thing he is dead set on and that is to do what he wants to regarless who tells him what he must do.<br /><br />Our relationship has drifted apart mainly to me enforcing my rules and standing my ground. I know he hates me now, but I know it is going to be the key thing to turn him around eventually.<br /><br />Sorry for being long winded, just had to vent some and keep those that care informed of what has been happeining. Thanks

 

[tylerin]

Re: Bad luck gets worse

Sorry to hear SS, I think its time to focus on your wife right now, just my opinion. Take care buddy

 

[SS MAYFLOAT]

Re: Bad luck gets worse

Oh yes Tylerin, I got emergency time off to help her out for a few days after surgery. I am having Carl stay at his bio-moms house for the week. This will give her time to heal without having to deal with Carls behavior.<br /><br />I just hope and pray the lump is not cancerous. She is a good woman that I am very proud of. I do not want to lose her ever.

 

[crab bait]

Re: Bad luck gets worse

roll him over every 3 to 4 hours so's not to get bedsores

 

[Whaler Proud]

Re: Bad luck gets worse

I feel for you SS. My son is now on the right balance of meds and we have our boy back. Took almost a year.<br /><br />Concentrate on your wife. Carl is an adult and until he wants to give up his self-medication, the road to stability will be a long hard one.<br /><br />The family will keep all of you in prayer.

 

[mikeandronda]

Re: Bad luck gets worse

SS coming from someone who has learned the hard way, Me.......People often times need to be on their own at rock bottom before they will pull themselves up. You have done what you can for your boy and its probably time to cut him loose. Know that you did what you could and let him know your love is still there for him when he needs it but let him run his life at this point. I will pray for your wife and you and with your son just know no matter how low he goes it is almost always possable to get back up, but it has to be him that does it.

 

[18rabbit]

Re: Bad luck gets worse

SS Mayfloat – I can absolutely empathies with your fears. I feel you, guy. However…it’s way too early to be that scared.<br /><br />Good news! Technology in this area is better than ever. If used correctly, it produces way more false hits than positive hits. The odds are overwhelming what was detected is not what you think it is. On the outside chance it turns out to be that nasty critter, the numbers are still with you! <br /><br />As scary as this is for you, it is probably more so for Mrs. Mayfloat. It is a time for you to be supportive with a positive outlook, and there is no reason for you not to have a positive outlook.

 

[mikeandronda]

Re: Bad luck gets worse

I agree with 18Rabbit. Technology is by far better then just a year ago. At this time the best way to handle it is to figure its just a bump, not cancer, but also understand even if its cancer it is very treatable if caught in time.There are 3 different survivors of br*ast cancer in my family and all are doing well to this day.

 

[BrianFD]

Re: Bad luck gets worse

SS,<br />BTDT on both counts. I think I've already mentioned some of what we went through with my daughter, and that had a happy ending.<br />Also, the wife had a lumpectomy three years ago. Ended up not being malignant. So there are some happy outcomes out there.<br />Please know that you continue to be in our thoughts & prayers, especially with this new burden. You have my empathy.<br />Peace to you & your lovely wife,<br />Brian

 

[OBJ]

Re: Bad luck gets worse

My thoughts are with you SS. It's never routine when it comes to what your misses is going through.

 

[ezbtr]

Re: Bad luck gets worse

Boy SS i know feelin, damn drugs/etc.! You can email or IM me at anytime, HKFCOPART AOL IM, take care and thoughts and prayers near,

 

[mellowyellow]

Re: Bad luck gets worse

it's REALLY important to keep a positive attitude,<br />especially around the mrs., she needs you to be<br />strong right now. I know your burden is quite<br />heavy SS, but you are deffinately due for some<br />good luck

 

[SpinnerBait_Nut]

Re: Bad luck gets worse

SS been right where you are before and the guys are right, be strong and positive for her.<br />We was lucky, it was benign, but I know it could have went the other way also, so be strong and it will all work out for you.

 

[SS MAYFLOAT]

Re: Bad luck gets worse

Thanks for the support. My wife is the only thing that is on my mind. With all my thoughts focused on her, Carl is doing his best to get my mind off of her. Its not happening! His pot of bad attitude has been put on the back burner where he can simmer for awhile.<br /><br />The counseler has brought out in the open that Carls anger is from him not spending quality time with me. He blames a lot on me for not spending the time together. Yeah right! For the last 4 years of having a dock at the lake, half the weekends spent there were surpose to be just him and me. Somehow he always would take off in search of friends and get involved with the parks activities. And now he blames me for not spending time with him?<br /><br />His best jerk in his chain will be when he goes to court this next time. He has failed to complete his community service, send in his court ordered school lessons, not taking his prescribed meds, and admission of smoking pot recently to me. Of course he blames his lack of completeing his court ordered things on me. I told him he is the one the court ordered to do these things, not me.<br /><br />Well, I got to go, going to take my wife out today for a drive and dinner. Got to make this a day to remember for her and I. You never know the out come of any surgery until all the healing is over. The odds are good for her out come, but as long as there are odds, that means there is a bad chance of something going wrong. Its not 100% risk free.<br /><br />I pray that things will get better for us soon.<br /><br />Thanks again....your words of kindness are appreaciated.

 

[gonfishn]

Re: Bad luck gets worse

Man if its not one thing its another..thoughts are with You SS and hope things get better.. Going to Clearfork week after next and have an extra seat if ya want to relive some strees and hunt for some gators with me..

 

[Toad2001]

Re: Bad luck gets worse

No matter what, when things look bad, always remember, that they could be be worse.<br />Things will sort themselves out.

 

[SS MAYFLOAT]

Re: Bad luck gets worse

Thanks Gonfishn, I just might take you up on that. Last week the lake was still a solid sheet of ice. I will cruise by there today and see how it is. This morning it hit 15 degrees. With these low temps at night, it doesn't help on getting the lakes thawed out. I'll send you an update tonight.

 

[POINTER94]

Re: Bad luck gets worse

SS,<br /><br />I really feel for you. You are one of the hero's nobody writes about but everyone needs. Stay strong and do what you think is right. <br /><br />I have always believed that good things happen to good people, I pray this holds true for you.

 

[SoulWinner]

Re: Bad luck gets worse

SS, Have Faith not Fear.I believe your wife will be fine. This may just be one of lifes defining moments for you two.<br /><br />As for Carl, I like MikeandRonda went down the wrong road that ended with me homeless, starving to death. I went frm 125pounds to 70pounds before a friend helped me put my life back on track. If that is what Carl has to experience toopen his eyes, well, just pray for the lad and spare not the rod.<br /><br />God bless you SS and your wife, may He keep and Bless you, may His face shine upon you all the days of your life

 

[Skinnywater]

Re: Bad luck gets worse

SS,<br />A week before Thanksgiving my beautiful wife was informed additional tests were needed to be performed because of a suspicious mamogram. Ultrasounds, Xrays and infrared verified a small, deep adnormality. A week later a biopsy confirmed atypical cells. My wife, 45 years old, healthy and in great shape, had the worst Christmas of her life, having this fear. January 5, she was in surgery for a lumpectomy that is now known as a sectional mastectomy. This all had this most gracious lady very, very scared. Thirty years as my wife and mother of our 3 daughters. All of us up until now, luckily, in very good health.<br /><br />The day after the surgery verified very early, pre cancerous tissue. The prognosis is excellent, with our increased attention to the fact.<br />The surgey left her with a 2" scar from the incision that looks very minor. The entire breast is as beautiful as it always was.<br /><br />While her doctor has discontinued her premenopausal medication (loestrin). She isn't on any other medication. She's back up to the 20 plus miles a week hikes we take. My wife has us on a more healthy diet and exercise program and all is well. The doc wants very regular mamograms. However, he explains that technology is on my wifes side as well as the early detection.<br />We're confident.<br /><br />FYI, copays and deductibles ran in the area of 3-4k with Blue Shield.<br /><br />By all means share this story with your wife. My wife was understandably terrified and it was made worse since she didn't have anyone to relate her experience with.<br />Best wishes and luck to you both and don't hesitate to ask if we can enlighten you more.