At the end of the day, talk, walk or run!

[angus63]

Re: At the end of the day, talk, walk or run!

I spend 10-12 hrs at work with my colleagues during a work day and only see my wife and kids for 3 hrs when I get home before I pass out and do it again. I also work a second job fishing when not doing the primary job. In my case, I don't want to miss out on the few hours each day I get to be with family. I do attend organized celebrations for work like retirements, graduations, promotions, etc....
Before I started a family, I did have happy hour written on my back to be totally honest, but those days are gone.

 

[eavega]

Re: At the end of the day, talk, walk or run!

The days of one spouse working a 40 hour week and supporting the entire family are coming to an end very quickly.

I somewhat disagree here. It requires planning, and sacrificing (i.e. we don't drive new, high-end cars, we don't take expensive vacations, EVERYTHING is budgeted) but it is perfectly possible to live on one good income (Gross is 6 figures. Take home, not quite) as long as you and your partner prioritize that lifestyle. Do we live in a big, expensive house? No. Do we go out to eat? Maybe once every couple of weeks. Our family entertainment revolves on things we can do for less than $100 in a weekend (camping and outdoor exploring, a day out on the boat, etc). Could we have more flexibility if we both had an income? We are going to find out. My wife, more out of the need to get out of the house, has started working this past month. That would be the first time in almost 9 years that she has been working outside our home. We managed just fine as long as we recognized that we were giving up some of the extras. Its all an opportunity cost.

Rgd

 

[avenger79]

Re: At the end of the day, talk, walk or run!

I agree with much of the above but would also like to add. How many companies are giving training on all the things you can say to a coworker which will give them cause to dismiss you. 1 statement made at work or outside can end your career. Many folks take this to heart and simply won't risk it by hanging out with people they work with.
The PC world has actually made places of employment much less personal and enjoyable. Coworkers don't ask or tell significant dates/events because someone may use it against them somehow.

 

[TilliamWe]

Re: At the end of the day, talk, walk or run!

AT my work, I am in the truck with only one guy for 6 hours. Then we do an hour of work together back at the garage, so by 1am, it's time to go home. Politely say goodbye, set the alarm, and walk out the door. When you have to be up at 7am you can't go out at 1am!

 

[ezmobee]

Re: At the end of the day, talk, walk or run!

At my old job, there were a number of us similar aged and mostly men. I had a number of really good friends there and we occasionally did things outside of work like happy hour or a poker night. Where I am now, although there are some very very nice people who I enjoy conversing with here, they're mostly middle-aged women. So we aren't exactly hanging out outside of work. That said, now that I have two young children, there's no way I'm going to be able to grab a drink after work with friends. I do occasionally meet a friend or two out later on after the kids are in bed (wife at home obviously).

On the topic of dual incomes, that's been a frequent discussion in our house lately especially since we had an issue with our daycare and had to switch. My wife and I both have pretty good jobs and we live in an average size house (about 1800 sq feet). There is currently no-friggin'-way we could afford for my wife to stay at home. We do have two car payments and some debt from the past that if we didn't have we might be able to swing it but it would be tight and things like a boat and vacations would completely out of the question. We have no idea how some of our friends are able to make it on one income and still go to the Outer Banks and Disney World every time we turn around.

 

[hostage]

Re: At the end of the day, talk, walk or run!

This sounds very interesting, I too work in IT and I am only inviting another coworker and my boss to my wedding as there are they only two I have socialized outside of work. Granted I will chat with coworkers, though we never do anything outside of work together.

I do have to admit that the current business models of many companies is very poor and will negatively impact them in the future. Companies hurt themselves by having lavish compensation packages. Now they are going the other end of the spectrum. I have been working as a "contractor" in the IT field so they company I work for can avoid giving me any benefits. Every 18 months I get an ultimatum that says I can become a temporary employee, though I will be let go in 12 months and can't be rehired by said company for ~3-6 months after that. If I decline that offer, which is poor to begin with then I can renew my orginal contract. I have been doing this for over 5 years at the same job working with actual employees. I have no interaction w/ my contract house and only really interact with the company's managers.

Don't get me wrong I am happy to have a job and like the money I get, though I do feel like a person in a relationship who is financially supported though made to feel like a second class citizen.

To add insult to injury a "re-org" just occurred, many of my fellow contractors are getting furloughed for a week, because of upper management politics and organizational billing. I forgot to mention that the notice of the furlough was, "don't bother coming in next week". I was lucky enough to not get hit, but two in my group and the guy invited to my wedding wasn't so lucky. Luck had to do with what project you were currently working on.

I like my direct manager, he is very down to earth. Though he openly asks why am I still here, he says he wouldn't be if he was in my situation. Maybe I should take his advice and start looking for a new job.

 

[RogersJetboat454]

Re: At the end of the day, talk, walk or run!

ive worked alone for the last 12 years ( gov job), and only interact with other staff through email, text, the occasional phone call, and a once a month tool box meeting. after our once a month meeting, all i hear is " gee...i wish i were you....you dont know how lucky you are"....yada yada. i only wish i worked around people, whether they interacted or not!! ....or do i have it good?

NW,
Think it depends on the person. Some people are loners, and like to work by them selves. Others like company while they work.
My current job, I work with one other guy in a satellite office. He does his thing, I do mine. We mingle occasionally through out the day.
Is it boring, and understimulating... Sometimes.
Is it peaceful, and easy to get work done with out distraction... Most of the time.
Is it nice being my own boss when my actual boss isn't here 99.99% or the time.... Always

 

[glenn property of pam]

Re: At the end of the day, talk, walk or run!

most of my co workers do not speak anything other than command english so i would rather go home and to the wife and kids then to drink in a group where half the convensation is in spannish. Dont get me wrong i have good friends mostly in the same social group.....thats the semi-poor married with kids that enjoy a few beers while out on a boat trying to find a spot where the cell phones no longer work for a few hours.