another funny email about raising boys

vipzach

Lieutenant
Joined
Feb 15, 2005
Messages
1,283
This is for alot of us that have done these things and now see our boy(s) doing the same things. :eek: :D <br /><br /><br />Subject: Raising Boys<br /><br />Those of us who have raised boys know that the following is true. For those of you who are raising boys now, read the following very carefully and remember. For those of you who have not raised boys, you do not know what you have missed. Those little darlings give you a lot to talk about at the Sunday dinner table. Life would be so dull without them.<br /><br /><br />RAISING BOYS<br /><br />The following came from an anonymous mother in Austin, Texas...<br /><br /><br />Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):<br /><br />1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.<br /><br />2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.<br /><br />3.) A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.<br /><br /><>4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room. 5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.<br /><br />6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.<br /><br />7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh-oh", it's already too late<br /><br />8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.<br /><br />9.) A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies..<br /><br />10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy.<br /><br />11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.<br /><br />12.) Super glue is forever.<br /><br />13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.<br /><br />14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.<br /><br />15.) VCR's do not eject "PB &J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.<br /><br />16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.<br /><br />17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.<br /><br />18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.<br /><br />19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.<br /><br />20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.<br /><br />21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.<br /><br />22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.<br /><br />23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.<br /><br />24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.<br /><br /><br />Those who pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without boys do it because:<br /><br />a) For those with no children - this is totally hysterical!<br /><br />b) For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.<br /><br />c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.<br /><br />d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.<br /><br />e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control
 

Barbee Q

Chief Petty Officer
Joined
Sep 18, 2005
Messages
647
Re: another funny email about raising boys

Heres one my 3yr old did some years back.. Cooking lessons while in the tub.. I'm taking a very quickie bath and my son decides he is going to help himself to things in the frig,,, I smell something odd and yell out," What are you doing boy".. He of course is just a giggling and then it gets really quiet. I realize I am smelling garlic powder all throughout the house.. I get out of the tub to find my son with the frig door open. He is trying to cook, I think. He mixed the last of the 4 eggs, mustard, some ranch dressing and topped it off with all my Garlic powder.. It was gross, because he then was trying to mix it all up with :eek: a straw.. I took at least 6 hours to get the garlic smell out of the house..
 

oddjob

Commander
Joined
Jun 19, 2002
Messages
2,723
Re: another funny email about raising boys

Knock on wood....I have three boys....And I think whomever wrote that piece deserved every bit of their plite. A little supervision goes along way.
 

oregonducker

Petty Officer 2nd Class
Joined
Feb 10, 2004
Messages
189
Re: another funny email about raising boys

Oddjob,<br />I am one of three boys. Our poor dad says that there were always two fighting and one plotting. <br /><br />Standby for mayhem. :D <br /><br />By they way, he did supervise and we did all turn out pretty well. You just can't help it.
 

Triton II

Commander
Joined
Nov 23, 2004
Messages
2,479
Re: another funny email about raising boys

Oh no... I have three boys! However when they play up too much I ban them from the boat. They don't play up often, and now they're older they are more interested in legs than lego! ;)
 

QC

Supreme Mariner
Joined
Mar 22, 2005
Messages
22,783
Re: another funny email about raising boys

I am one of three boys and HAVE three boys. You think some people would learn . . .<br /><br />Sometimes they put energy to good things though. The 12 year old made this with absolutely no assistance. Note the drink cup holder, dice, American flag, clock, gear shift, recentering steering (bungees) and the brake mechanism.<br /><br />
e9c7xt.jpg
 
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