A Frogs Tale.

[rbh]

A frog goes into a bank and
approaches the teller. He
can see from her nameplate
that her name is Patricia
Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get
a $30,000 loan to take a
holiday."

Patty looks at the frog in
disbelief and asks his name.
The frog says his name is
Kermit Jagger, his dad is
Mick Jagger, and that it's
okay, he knows the bank
manager.

Patty explains that he will
need to secure the loan with
some collateral.



The frog says, "Sure. I have
this," and produces a tiny
porcelain elephant, about an
inch tall, bright pink and
perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains
that she'll have to consult
with the bank manager and
disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and
says, "There's a frog called
Kermit Jagger out there who
claims to know you and wants
to borrow $30,000, and he
wants to use this as
collateral."

She holds up the tiny pink
elephant. "I mean, what in
the world is this?"



The bank manager looks back
at her and says.

"It's a knickknack, Patty
Whack. Give the frog a loan,
His old man's a Rolling
Stone."

 

[JB]

Re: A Frogs Tale.

:facepalm::facepalm:

 

[The Rooster]

Re: A Frogs Tale.

:d:d:d

 

[aspeck]

Re: A Frogs Tale.

UUGGGHHHH!!!! What a croaker!

 

[Bob_VT]

Re: A Frogs Tale.

An olde classic!

 

[nwcove]

Re: A Frogs Tale.

Groan!!

 

[nwcove]

Re: A Frogs Tale.

..a fly..out in the barn...came across a big pile of fresh manure.
no other flies around to compete with for this meal, so he ate and ate until he was fuller than he'd ever been before.
once he was finished, he tried to fly away.....no way he could get airborn, just to heavy.
he knew that the animals would soon be coming in for the night, and if he didnt fly away, he would surely get trampled to death!
so , glancing around he saw a rake leaning against the wall, knew for sure if he climbed to the top of the handle and jumped, he would easily fly away to safety.
so he climbed the rake, beat his wings for all he was worth, and jumped.
spiralled down to the floor...*splat*.....dead.

the moral of this story is.....NEVER fly off the handle when you're full of sh** !!

 

[paultjohnson]

Re: A Frogs Tale.

BAAAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA :facepalm:

 

[lncoop]

Re: A Frogs Tale.

Quasimodo had finally had enough bell ringing and decided it was high time he retired, so he placed an ad in the Notre Dame Ledger for a new full time bell ringer. Several days later he answered a knock on the door to discover the skinniest runt he'd ever seen.

"May I help you?" Quasimodo inquired.
"Yes, or rather I can help you. I'm here about the bell ringer position" he replied.
"Hmmmm" said Quasimodo. "I don't know. That bell is very heavy and, no offense intended, but I fear you're just too small to ring it".
"I knew you'd say that" he offered, "and no offense taken, but I have a special method for bell ringing. I back up for a running start then charge full tilt and hit the bell with my head".

Quasimodo resolved to let him try. If nothing else it would be good for a laugh. So, the man ran straight for the bell, missed it by five feet, and flew out the window into the courtyard below. By the time Quasimodo reached the flattened corpse a crowd had gathered and someoned gasped "Quasimodo, did you know this man!?" Quasimodo gazed thoughtfully at him and said "No, but his face rings a bell".

In any case, Quasimodo had yet to find a suitable replacement, so he let the ad continue to run. A few days later a man strikingly similar to the previous unfortunate applicant appeared at his door. Quasimodo was amazed at the similarity and said as much.

"Yes" the applicant replied. "He was my brother."
"Is your methodology equally similar?"
"It is, but my aim is condiserably better".
"Well, if you're sure........"
"Watch this!"

With that the fellow ran straight for the bell but missed it by two feet and met the same fate as his brother. By the time Quasimodo reached him the crowd had gathered again.

"Quasimodo, did you know this man!?"
"No" Quasimodo rejoined, "but he's a dead ringer for his brother".

 

[foodfisher]

Re: A Frogs Tale.

groan

 

[southkogs]

Re: A Frogs Tale.

Great ones guys ... never heard the Quasimodo one before