- Joined
- May 19, 2001
- Messages
- 26,039
Zen for those who take life too Seriously<br /><br />1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.<br /><br />2 A day without sunshine is like, night.<br /><br />3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.<br /><br />4. I just got lost in thought. It wasn't familiar territory.<br /><br />5. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.<br /><br />6. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.<br /><br />7. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.<br /><br />8. Honk if you love peace and quiet.<br /><br />9. Remember, half the people you know are below average.<br /><br />10. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.<br /><br />12. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.<br /><br />13. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.<br /><br />14. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.<br /><br />15. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your week.<br /><br />16. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.<br /><br />17. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.<br /><br />18. Get a new car for your spouse. It'll be a great trade!<br /><br />19. Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.<br /><br />20. Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!<br /><br />21. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.<br /><br />22. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.<br /><br />23. OK, so what's the speed of dark?<br /><br />24. How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?<br /><br />25. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked<br />something.<br /><br />26. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.<br /><br />27. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.<br /><br />28. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.<br /><br />29. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?<br /><br />30. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?<br /><br />31. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.<br /><br />32. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?<br /><br />33. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.<br /><br />34. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.<br /><br />35. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?<br /><br />36. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.<br /><br />37. Just remember - if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.<br /><br />38. Light travels faster than sound, which is why some people appear bright<br />until you hear them speak.
