SpinnerBait_Nut
Honorary Moderator Emeritus
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2002
- Messages
- 17,651
1. During your initial consultation he tries to sell you Amway.<br /><br /> 2. He tells you that his last good case was a "Budweiser."<br /><br /> 3. When the prosecutors see who your lawyer is, they high-five each other.<br /><br /> 4. He picks the jury by playing "duck-duck-goose."<br /><br /> 5. During the trial you catch him playing his Gameboy.<br /><br /> 6. He asks a hostile witness to "pull my finger."<br /><br /> 7. A prison guard is shaving your head.<br /><br /> 8. Every couple of minutes he yells, "I call Jack Daniels to the stand!"<br /> and proceeds to drink a shot.<br /><br /> 9. He frequently gives juror No. 4 the finger.<br /><br /> 10. He places a large "No Refunds" sign on the defense table.<br /><br /> 11. He begins closing arguments with, "As Ally McBeal once said..."<br /><br /> 12. He keeps citing the legal case of Godzilla v. Mothra.<br /><br /> 13. Just before trial starts he whispers, "The judge is the one with the<br /> little hammer, right?"<br /><br /> 14. Just before he says "Your Honor," he makes those little quotation<br /> marks in the air with his fingers.<br /><br /> 15. His law office sign reads "Practicing Law Since 2:25pm."<br /><br /> 16. Whenever his objection is overruled, he tells the judge, "Whatever."<br /><br /> 17. He giggles every time he hears the word "briefs."<br /> 
