- Joined
- May 29, 2003
- Messages
- 18,692
... the finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.<br /><br /> ... people ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.<br /><br /> ... when the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering," five guys and two women stand up.<br /><br /> ... opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.<br /><br /> ... a member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of."<br /><br /> ... the choir is known as the "OK Chorale".<br /><br /> ... in a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.<br /><br /> ... Baptism is referred to as "branding".<br /><br /> ... high notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.<br /><br /> ... people think 'rapture' is what you get when you lift something too heavy.<br /><br /> ... the baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized washtub.<br /><br /> ... the choir robes were donated by and embroidered with the logo from Billy Bob's Barbecue.<br /><br /> ... the collection plates are really hub caps from a '56 Chevy.<br /><br /> ... instead of a bell, you are called to service by a duck call.<br /><br /> ... the minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.<br /><br /> ... the communion wine is Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink".<br /><br /> ... "Thou shalt not covet" applies to huntin' dogs, too.<br /><br /> ... the final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now, Ya heah"<br /><br /> God Bless and don't fergit ta say yer prayers!!!
