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- May 29, 2003
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The Association of Southern Schools has decided to seek a grant designating Southern slang, or Y'allbonics, as a language to be taught in all Southern schools. The following are excerpts from the Y'allbonics/English dictionary.<br /><br />1) HEIDI - (noun) - Greeting.<br /><br />2) HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage: "Heidi, Hire yew?"<br /><br />3) BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow". Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."<br /><br />4) JAWJUH - (noun) - The state north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck and took it to Lanner."<br /><br />5) BAMMER - (noun) - The state west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayam. Usage: "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,00 in improvements."<br /><br />6) MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar division. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."<br /><br />7) THANK - (verb) - Cognitive process. Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."<br /><br />8) BARE - (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast. Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a nutter bare."<br /><br />9) IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart. See "Arkansas native." Usage:"Them bammer boys sure are ignert!"<br /><br />10) RANCH - (noun) - A tool used for tight'nin' bolts. Usage: "I thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."<br /><br />11) ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck." (LubeDude would say sythatic all)<br /><br />12) FAR - (noun) - A conflagration. Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that thang's gonna catch far."<br /><br />13) TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel. Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."<br /><br />14) TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument. Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."<br /><br />15) RETARD - (verb) - To stop working. Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65."<br /><br />16) FAT - (noun and verb) - A battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat. Usage: "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup yuh."<br /><br />17) RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege. Usage: "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."<br /><br />18) CHEER - (adverb) - In this place. Usage: "Jest set that bare rat cheer."<br /><br />19) FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic. Usage: "I cuddin't unnerstand a wurd he sed . . . must be from some farn country."<br /><br />20) DID - (adjective) - Not alive. Usage: "He's did, Jim."<br /><br />21) ARE - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas containing oxygen. Usage: "He cain't breathe . . . give 'im some are!!"<br /><br />22) BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable. Usage: "Boy, stay away from that there bob war fence."<br /><br />23) JEW HERE - (pronoun and verb) - Contraction. Usage: "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?"<br /><br />24) HAZE - (pronoun and verb) - A contraction. Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah . . . haze ignert. He ain't thanked but a minnit'n 'is laf."<br /><br />25) SEED - (verb) - Past tense of "to see." Usage: "I ain't never seed Noo Yawk City."<br /><br />26) VIEW - (verb and pronoun) - contraction. Usage: "I ain't never seed Noo Yawk City. . . view?"<br /><br />27) GUBMINT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution. Usage: "Them gubmint boys shore is ignert."
