women vs men - discipline in the 21st C

ebbtide176 · Jun 21, 2004

this is not meant to be too sarcastic. i just wondered if the things that i think about might go thru your mind also...

i sometimes wonder about these things... i am what my wife would call more 'anal retentive' than she is. this corresponds with what i consider daily household chores. things like leaving dishes unrinsed(not washed, just leaving water on them to loosen the food), leaving car doors open in the garage, leaving garage door open, leaving shoes, socks laying wherever they got kicked off, that kind of thing. i am thinking that all of this is a new trend. you know, like peace & flowers and try new drugs- type of deal. i am hoping & praying that its all due to the freedom given to everyone who might have some hint of a reason to be threatened in their existance. maybe that's why. someday i hope for more discipline in the individual household again, you know, cleaning up after yourself, considering others opinions, being a tidy, frugal and self critical human... maybe i should see a pschychiatrist

Bassy · Jun 21, 2004

Re: women vs men - discipline in the 21st C

Coming from a family with 5 kids I really don't know what to think. We were all raised to make our beds when we got up,keep our rooms clean,help with the housework(Girls helped Mom,Boys helped outside),etc. Even with being raised like that 3 out of 5 are not like that at all as adults. So, maybe you're born with that organized gene. Wonder what the experts say. Bassy

JB · Jun 22, 2004

Re: women vs men - discipline in the 21st C

Been there, Ebb. You left out leaving the cap off the toothpaste.

And: Posting in the wrong forum, double posting, etc. I believe that we neatnicks (I detest the pseudo-scientific term) are pretty much divided among men and moms.

LadyFish · Jun 22, 2004

Re: women vs men - discipline in the 21st C

To be quite honest in our household its kind of split. There are certain things Mr. LF keeps really neat like his closet, the garage, and the boat. However, then he will leave the newspaper on the table after he's finished reading it. For me, I have always been AR about my vehicles and the yard. When I clean the house its spotless, you could eat off the floors. Problem is, I would rather fish on the weekend than clean house so we have a maid. Although she dosen't do as good of a job as I do, its easier for me to keep up with. I guess you eventually learn not to sweat the small stuff. When what really matters is your energy and time is better off spent doing the things you like to do, and making short the things that take time away from that.

ebbtide176 · Jun 22, 2004

Re: women vs men - discipline in the 21st C

i'm glad y'all took it the right way. i probably go thru this self pity every year when MnLaw is staying with us. i feel better now, i'm back at work. hehe

kenimpzoom · Jun 22, 2004

Re: women vs men - discipline in the 21st C

Wife and I are about the same for "anal retentiveness". We tend to let things go for a couple of days, then clean up. I have never bugged her about cleaning up. The only thing that gets me upset is if I dont have work clothes to wear. But the wife has a point, I know how to use the washing machine!

Ken

samagee · Jun 23, 2004

Re: women vs men - discipline in the 21st C

I am known as the king of "anal retentiveness". I really get ticked when I can't find my things, because they don't put them back when they are done with them.

oddjob · Jun 23, 2004

Re: women vs men - discipline in the 21st C

What Sam said.

JasonJ · Jun 23, 2004

Re: women vs men - discipline in the 21st C

Because my job allows me to see at least 10 houses a day, I can definately say that there has been a shift in what is and is not done around the house and who does it. Increasingly I have noticed that stay-at-home moms on average do not take good care of the house. Because of this new thing of having your kids enrolled in every activity known to mankind, mom can say she didn't clean the house because she had to get the kids to whatever it was that day. The father, who worked 8-12 hours that day to pay for the house and all its contents as well as all those wonderful activities has to either suck it up or he ends up cleaning the house. This may sound old fashioned (I am only 35), but if the woman is a stay-at-home mother by choice, she needs to clean the house. There is no need for kids to be in every activity there is, they need to just be kids, play, learn, and just do a few activities. I was married, and my wife stayed home with our daughter and she would freely admit that it isn't that hard to keep things straight, and I never had to clean or do any of that. Now, if both parents are workin' then both parents should be cleanin'. In my current relationship, I do about 80% of the house cleaning in addition to the yardwork, mostly because I am anal (and few people can do a good enough job for me anyways). The better half does all the cooking and 98% of the grocery shopping. In shear hours spent at task, we are at about 50/50 on workload, and we rarely bicker about it.

lakelover · Jun 24, 2004

Re: women vs men - discipline in the 21st C

I do love my wife more than anything in the world, don't know what I'd do without her, but I really hear ya about messes, debris & "little things" (to her) about the house.

This won't be a litany of complaints, but she just doesn't see the importance of the logical "little things" that make the place run a lot smoother, make chores easier, and allow you to spend a whole lot less time in the end on jobs that get big because you don't keep on top of that "little stuff"!

But I gotta be fair, some of her stuff is "little stuff" to me!!

Originally posted by ebb: i sometimes wonder about these things... i am what my wife would call more 'anal retentive' than she is. this corresponds with what i consider daily household chores. things like leaving dishes unrinsed(not washed, just leaving water on them to loosen the food), leaving car doors open in the garage, leaving garage door open, leaving shoes, socks laying wherever they got kicked off, that kind of thing.

wilkin250r · Jun 24, 2004

Re: women vs men - discipline in the 21st C

I'll admit, I don't do a whole lot of cleaning around the house, and there are a few certain tasks and chores that I refuse to do. One of them is the dishes. I have no problems at all washing dishes. But I DO have a problem putting them away. Since we got a dishwasher, all it requires is putting them away, so it naturally follows that I just don't do the dishes. Now, I have reasons for this, I'm not just trying to justify my laziness. I moved in with my girlfriend about two years ago, so most everything in the house is "hers", which includes the dishes. Now, I am a very practical man. I look at functionality before beauty. My girlfriend is the exact opposite. She has a set of bowls that are a nightmare because they do NOT stack together. I can put the plates away properly, but not the bowls. She has actually said to me once "If you stack my bowls like this again, I'll kill you". I hate the bowls. I would never buy those bowls because you can't put them away properly. This also applies to many other dishware that she owns. As a result, if I do the dishes, I'll put away the silverware, plates, and glasses, and leave everything else for her to do.

JasonJ · Jun 25, 2004

Re: women vs men - discipline in the 21st C

wilkin, I hear ya, but for me its the laundry. I don't mind doing the laundry, I have done my laundry forever, but the girly foo-foo stuff that needs all the weird care, I just don't mess with. It only took a few "discussions" on how her stuff has to be washed differently than mine for me to adopt the seperate hamper, do your own laundry policy. Thats what I like about being a man, it can all be thrown in and done, no fuss or bother...

cajun555 · Jun 26, 2004

Re: women vs men - discipline in the 21st C

In our household its 50/50, even down to the bedroom. I clean my side of the room she cleans her side. I guess my biggest complaint is that she throws nothing away. Another is she cannot organize any thing. Normally she does the dishes, but i will do them if i've got the ground in dirt and grease on my hands. Best way I've found to get my hands really clean.

self taut · Jul 3, 2004

Re: women vs men - discipline in the 21st C

were not the neatest people in the world.period.this is not martha stewerts home.wife and i both will clean or may leav something behind.difficult to keep house spotless when im running tools and extention cords and materials all over the house all the time ( remodeling home ) so i normally dont fret with a small mess.but the " you know how to use the washing machine" line dosent work here because i like to reply with." and you know haw to push a lawn mower" so basicly we do our thing and we dont complain about the state of the other.if we want it done right now we simply do it ourselves or keep our mouth shut about it.

ebbtide176 · Jul 6, 2004

Re: women vs men - discipline in the 21st C

heehee, i never thought this spur of the moment thing would get a good turnout.

i understand i truly do, believe me. i'm going on 21yrs, 17 married to the same female. let me give a closer look... i am always thinking of what i have just done, be it releasing a keychain or dishtowel or shiftlever. if i move something, or enter a place that i feel is shared with another living being, i consider that fact. such as a home, vehicle, bedroom, bathroom, or anywhere else, except maybe my own clothing.

its just a part of what i consider to be 'self-awareness'. maybe being brought up with 5 siblings and 1 hardazz parent is related. i don't think anyone can blame someone else for any of their own faults. maybe peculiarities, but not faults. no sir. now, if this is a fault in your mind- i'm not in agreement, i think its perfectly logical. so, i married the woman with a good background, loving parents, kids will be kids kind of upbringing. that's all good to me. but hey, you still have to respect other's opinions unless you can fault them. i cannot find fault in being a tidy person, unless it encroaches on funtime. you know, like having to spend all day cleaning instead of doing the regular daily chores that can be done in a quick manner, and then going out and having fun. make a mess, i understand. i can totally make a mess, i work on things for fun. i like grease & gas. i think my daughter is coming around to that point of view. but i see, and can't understand why others can't realize- that cleaning up after yourself is saving a lengthy cleanup in the long run. you know, like putting the tools up when you're done, rinsing the dishes while you wait on food to cook, throwing dirty clothes in the hamper or laundry room- the kind of snap habits that save in the long run. that's how i am. wifie is not at all like that. that's what i was talking about. k pesa?

the only drawback is that when i act the same, it gets on her nerves and does not have the intended effect. so she wins

and its a given - her mother is daughter squared, if you know what i mean

women vs men - discipline in the 21st C

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