Woman, where is thy Roar?
How many men does it take to open a beer?<br />None. It should be opened when she brings it.<br />-------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?<br />Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.<br />--------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />Why do women have smaller feet than men?<br />It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.<br />-------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?<br />When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."<br />-------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />How do you fix a woman's watch?<br />You don't. There is a clock on the oven. That's all she needs.<br />-------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />Why do men pass gas more than women?<br />Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.<br />-------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?<br />The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.<br />-------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?<br />A woman who won't do what she's told.<br />-------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />I married a Miss Right.<br />I just didn't know her first name was Always.<br />-------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.<br />It's called a Wedding Cake.<br />-------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />Why do men die before their wives?<br />They want to.<br />-------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.<br />------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.<br />Then God created Man and rested.<br />Then God created Woman.<br />Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.<br />-------------------------------------
