Kenneth Brown
Captain
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2003
- Messages
- 3,481
Dang... It's Great to be a Man. <br />*Your last name stays put. <br />*The garage is all yours. <br />*Wedding plans take care of themselves. <br />*Chocolate is just another snack. <br />*You can be president. <br />*You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. <br />*Car mechanics tell you the truth. <br />*You don't give a rat's behind if someone notices your new haircut. <br />*The world is your urinal. <br />*You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too "icky." <br />*Same work... more pay. <br />*Wrinkles add character. <br />*Wedding dress $5000; tux rental $100. <br />*People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. <br />*The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. <br />*New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. <br />*One mood, ALL the damm time. <br />*Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. <br />*You know stuff about tanks. <br />*A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. <br />*You can open your own jars. <br />*Dry cleaners and hair stylists don't rob you blind. <br />*You can leave the motel bed unmade. <br />*You can kill your own food. <br />*You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. <br />*If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend. <br />*Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. <br />*If you are 34 and single nobody notices. <br />*Every thing on your face stays its original color. <br />*You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat. <br />*Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. <br />*You don't have to clean your apartment if the maid is coming. <br />*You can quietly watch a game with a buddy for hours without thinking, "He must be mad at me." <br />*You don't mooch off other's desserts. <br />*You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift. <br />*You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors. <br />*You do! n't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. <br />*You almost never have strap problems in public. <br />*You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. <br />*The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. <br />*You don't have to shave below your neck. <br />*Your belly usually hides your big hips. <br />*One wallet and one pair of shoes; one color, all seasons. <br />*You can do your nails with a pocketknife. <br />*You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache. <br />*You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.
