LadyFish
Admiral
- Joined
- Mar 18, 2003
- Messages
- 6,894
"Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out <br />after you wear them awhile."<br /><br />"Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a <br />worthless document."<br /><br />"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."<br /><br />"Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, <br />that is the average speed of a 9 mm bullet fired from my gun."<br /><br />"So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write <br />anything I want on the ticket, huh?"<br /><br />"Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will <br />help. Oh ... did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"<br /><br />"Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or <br />I'll give you another ticket."<br /><br />"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or <br />not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"<br /><br />"Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride <br />on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey poop."<br /><br />"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster <br />oven....."<br /><br />"In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."<br /><br />"Just how big were those two beers?"<br /><br />"No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're <br />allowed to write as many tickets as we want."<br /><br />"I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours.. <br />At least you know someone who can post your bail."<br /><br />"You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. <br />Sign here."<br /> 
