What do i tell him?

Mr.Ladyfish

Master Chief Petty Officer
Joined
Nov 28, 2003
Messages
848
My 6 year old grandson asked me a question tonight. He asked ”what was it like when you were growing up Papa?”. How do I tell him about leaving the house at 8:00 in the morning and coming home at dark? Playing baseball and football with my friends without a parent in site. Being free to be a kid. Going exploring around the lake on the edge of town. Fishing off the bridge 50 feet over the West Canada Creek. Riding bikes as fast as we could pedal, swearing we were going 30 miles an hour. Jumping those same bikes over makeshift ramps in the street and thinking we were Evil Kanevil before he was Evil Kanevil. How do I explain to him that life is not as safe for him as it was for me? How do I tell him that he can’t play ball with his friends unless it’s in an organized league. That he can’t go anywhere without adult supervision. That there are sick people who would hurt him or worse if they had the chance. That he can’t ride his bike without a helmet and knee pads or some knucklehead down the street will make a complaint about his parents. How do I tell him about the wonders of the beach or the bay and forbid him from ever exploring them without me or his Nana? <br /><br />He really wants to see snow. I am going to try to take him back to my origins in upstate NY in Jan. or Feb. We’ll toboggan down Steuben hill & dodge trees. We’ll go walk through the woods and listen to the silence of a snowfall. We’ll visit his great grandparents who are still alive and we’ll visit the graves of the ones who aren’t. I’ll do my best to explain to him the America I grew up in. I don’t know how I’ll be able to explain to him how things have changed or why.<br /><br />What the hell has happened to our country?
 

BiXLL

Petty Officer 1st Class
Joined
Aug 4, 2003
Messages
266
Re: What do i tell him?

Man, thats sad. I haven't thought about those things that way. I guess we were really lucky!
 

Spidybot

Lieutenant Commander
Joined
Apr 4, 2002
Messages
1,734
Re: What do i tell him?

It's a little scaring to read your thoughts. We get that kind of info on TV, mainly from programs made over there. Hearing you tell about it here, man-to-man, puts it in another, deeper perspective.<br /><br />Our country has changed over time too, but certainly not to that extent. As the US covers many different communities, there may well be one like our:<br />Our kids live like you and I did when we were that age and I think the major concern here is to help teenagers to stay away from "bad company".<br /><br />One of the issues here is that parents complain about the "dangerous" traffic around schools, caused by - parents taking their kids too school!<br /><br />It's hardly a problem but in the absence of real trouble, it'll have to do. :cool:
 

Link

Rear Admiral
Joined
Apr 13, 2003
Messages
4,221
Re: What do i tell him?

Mr.LadyFish<br />I hear ya loud and clear. <br />I helped (in a way) to give birth to a couple rabbits that we thought were daughters. :) 8 grand kids and 32 years later I'm wondering the same thing.<br /><br />Take the trip to show the grand kids.<br /><br />My daughters keep their children very streetwise and aware of their surroundings <br />Both have only lived in large cities.<br /><br />Well last year one of them needed to go back east (DC) for two weeks and her mom and all relatives were busy so she asked if we could take care of them. We live in different states so this isn't easy.<br /><br />Well we took two weeks off and took them fishing. First out to the cabin where they had a blast on the puget sound for about a week then to where I grew up. It is about a two hour drive from my place and after we turned off of the main interstate we pulled over and told them that from now on there would be no stop signs or street lights. If they needed to "go" just say so and we would pull over to the side of the road.<br />About 45 minutes later we pulled off the only road to my brothers driveway.. got there and everyone jumped out of the van. <br />This is SAD! <br />The first thing the two oldest grandkids noticed was that his keys were still in his truck! <br />Grandpa! Something must be wrong! I just said no he might be in his house.<br />So I walked up to the front door and opened it and yelled "Ron, Pat are you here" <br />Then the two oldest started getting scared! <br />10 and 14 years old. <br />I told them not to worry "and they asked me why his front door wasn't locked" I told them that up here nobody locks their doors.. hasn't changed since 1959 to 2004 this a good thing about America Mr.LadyFish<br />Depends on where you live.<br /> :) :)
 

SpinnerBait_Nut

Honorary Moderator Emeritus
Joined
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Messages
17,651
Re: What do i tell him?

Yea here where I live, you don't lock stuff up.<br />Houses are open, cars and trucks unlocked.<br /><br />I still live where, when your outside and a car comes down the road, they know you.<br /><br />Never lived in or around a big city.<br />Have been to a lot of them, and didn't like none of them.<br /><br />No, I'll just stay here in the sticks, thank you.
 

FLATHEAD

Captain
Joined
Dec 29, 2002
Messages
3,068
Re: What do i tell him?

Sure there are real dangers out there these days, but I think the media hypes every case of a sicko to the hilt. I too had a childhood very like yours MR LF, and would not trade it for the world. I may have been a bad parent by todays standard but I tried to let my kids have the same. I did not watch over them as if the sword of damaclease was gonna drop any minute. I Taught them right from wrong, and to be respectful from the very start, the rest just seemed to take care of it's self. They both have done very well, of course the daughter gave me some grey hairs in the teenage years but daughters have been giving dads grey hair for all of history. :D <br /><br />I truly believe that things are not near as bad as the media makes them out to be.
 

rodbolt

Supreme Mariner
Joined
Sep 1, 2003
Messages
20,066
Re: What do i tell him?

I gotta agree with Flathead. I grerw up down in Grand bay AL. at that time there was not even a stop light in the town and we had a watermelon festival every july 4th. things are really only as bad as the media hypes it. I keep at least one boat in the water and most times two, Ihave a gas account and my kids wont go near them. all they wish to do is sit inside.<br /> good luck and ke4ep posting
 

one more cast

Captain
Joined
May 6, 2002
Messages
3,143
Re: What do i tell him?

Mr.LF, If you bring him to upstate NY in january you can show him what it was like when you were growing up. not much has changed around here since I was a kid. :)
 

PW2

Commander
Joined
Apr 21, 2004
Messages
2,719
Re: What do i tell him?

Nostalgia isn't always what it is cracked up to be.<br />I played baseball all the way from Little league to Babe Ruth league to American Legion, and my parents never watched a single game I ever played.<br /><br />If I was going to play, I was going to buy my own stuff, pay my own fees, and get myself to the games somehow.<br /><br />Yep, I had lots of freedom- Is that a good thing, or a bad thing? I know I made it a point to not raise my kids that way.<br /><br />Managed to stay out of too serious of trouble, and managed to not get too badly hurt, although had quite a few close calls...and not all my friends were as lucky as I.<br /><br />OTOH, I agree that the media hypes a lot of the danger around, and fear generally seems to be much worse in America than it is other parts of the world, for some reason. (BTW, this was explored in MMoore's film Bowling for Columbine, though he reaches no conclusion specifically, other than it exists- and that it is far worse in America than in other parts of the world)<br /><br />Population increases, and the concentrations of those populations, have something to do with it.<br /><br />I recall an assignment years ago in college where we were to analyze society, and make an argument, on one side or the other, of whether people generally were happier today, or 100 years ago. The arguments were equally split, as I recall.<br /><br />The only thing that stays constant is that things change--some for the better, and some not.
 

POINTER94

Vice Admiral
Joined
Oct 12, 2003
Messages
5,031
Re: What do i tell him?

Mr. ladyfish,<br /><br />You are absolutely right, things have changed and I am afraid not for the better. There are many reasons, usurping parental rights, lawsuits, the womans movement, urbanization of our society, redefining criminal activity as illness, government taking over parental roles (like feeding our kids and free secret abortions), media hype, economic reasons, an education system who thinks they know more than parents - but can't teach RRR, and primarily lowsy parents.<br /><br />The places of your childhood exist, but are primarily in rural areas where lawyers don't congregate, people know their neighbors, and right and wrong can be defined. When manners, civility, personal responsability, parental sacrifice, and an appreciation for each persons right to raise their own children their way (home schooling was illegal just 15 years ago) and having priorities in line with the long term success of our children, not the short term fame, we will continue to see the decline in the length of our childrens childhood, and the quality thereof.
 

SpinnerBait_Nut

Honorary Moderator Emeritus
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Messages
17,651
Re: What do i tell him?

Not counting all the gay and lesbian movements.<br /><br />What has that done to the society as a whole? :mad:
 

mellowyellow

Vice Admiral
Joined
Jun 8, 2002
Messages
5,327
Re: What do i tell him?

agree with OMC, little has changed upstate.<br />it's easy to find what PW describes if u r <br />willing to make that choice. I did and MY<br />kids are better off for it. I shudder to think<br />of how their lives would be different if we<br />never moved from S. Cal.... :eek:
 

SpinnerBait_Nut

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Re: What do i tell him?

Originally posted by mellowyellow:<br /> agree with OMC, little has changed upstate.<br />it's easy to find what PW describes if u r <br />willing to make that choice. I did and MY<br />kids are better off for it. I shudder to think<br />of how their lives would be different if we<br />never moved from S. Cal.... :eek:
I rest my case.
 

JasonJ

Rear Admiral
Joined
Aug 20, 2001
Messages
4,163
Re: What do i tell him?

Thats what I like about my small town. Kids still fish and ride their bikes, but you can still see the spectre of modern society in the background. The kids wear helmets when they ride, whereever you see small kids, and adult is somewhere nearby. It is not as bad as the cities I have lived in, and a person can leave their house and car unlocked, but the bad creeps in once in awhile. If I had to choose between living now and 100 years ago I would still pick now though, I just like the widgets too much to think about not having them...I would not want to be a kid now though, they are being forced to grow up too soon now, what with prepping them for college when they are still in preschool. Kids don't even get to be kids anymore, with their parents living through them vicariously and all...
 

one more cast

Captain
Joined
May 6, 2002
Messages
3,143
Re: What do i tell him?

quite often you will hear on the scanner someone report a suspious car or person in the area that needs checking out. and last summer a tiny local homebased bait shop got robbed and the thiefs were caught within a half hour because everyone has scanners and cell phones and report back to the cops. The owner said he was so scared he couldn't get the shell in his shotgun.(lucky for the robbers) He keeps it loaded and handy now. <br /> :D
 

kenimpzoom

Rear Admiral
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Jul 13, 2002
Messages
4,807
Re: What do i tell him?

There were plenty of bad people back when you were a kid, it just wasnt in the media every day.<br /><br />Forget the bike helmets and all that crap. Have fun with life and dont let anyone or anything else run your life.<br /><br />My kids dont wear helmets. When the son gets 10 or so, I'll let him roam free. If you shelter the kids, the will never figure this world out.<br /><br />Ken
 
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