What Causes Arthritis?

Bob_VT

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A drunk man smelling of beer sat down on a subway next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face smeared with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of beer was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, "Say, Father, what causes arthritis?"
The priest replies, "My son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, sleeping around with prostitutes and a lack of regular bathing."
The drunk mutters in response, "Well, I'll be darned", then returns to reading his paper.
The priest, after thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"
The drunk replies, "I don't have it Father. I was just reading here in the paper that the Pope does."


Moral: Be sure you understand the question before offering an answer.​
 

Tim Frank

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Re: What Causes Arthritis?


Some men will never learn.


Due to inherit a fortune when his sickly, widower father died, Robert decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. So he went to a singles bar and he searched until he spotted a woman whose beauty took his breath away.

"Right now, I'm just an ordinary man," he said, walking up to her.

"You sure are," she said dismissively.

"But within a month or two, my father will pass and I'll inherit over 30 million dollars."

Sure enough, the gorgeous woman went home with Robert...

...and four days later she became his stepmother.

Some men will never learn.
 

Bob_VT

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Re: What Causes Arthritis?

A little boy was doing his math homework.
"two plus five, that son of a b$#&% is seven," he said to himself.
"three plus six, that son of a b$#%& is nine..
.." his mother heard what he was saying and gasped,
"what are you doing?!"
the little boy answered, "i'm doing my math homework, mom."
"well, you can do it without all that rude language!"
mom firmly stated.
"but mom," the boy replied,
"this is how my teacher taught me to do it!"
mom paused for a moment, befuddled.
"this is how your teacher taught you to do your math homework?" she asked.
"yes," the boy answered.
Infuriated, the mother sought out the teacher
the next day and asked him,
"what are you teaching my son in math?"
"right now, we are learning addition," the teacher replied
. "and are you teaching them to say,
'two plus two, that son of a b$#%& is four'?!?"
the mother asked.
After the teacher stopped laughing, he answered,
"oh, no. What i taught them was,
"two plus two, the sum of which is four
 
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