SpinnerBait_Nut
Honorary Moderator Emeritus
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2002
- Messages
- 17,651
"Golf Injury"<br /> <br />On a busy Med/Surg floor the doctor stops the nurse<br />to brief her on a patient's condition. "This patient is<br />a fellow physician and my favorite golf partner. His<br />injury is serious and I fear he will not be able to<br />play golf again unless you follow my orders exactly."<br /> <br />The doctor then began listing orders: "You must give<br />an injection in a different location every twenty minutes<br />followed by a second injection exactly five minutes after<br />the first. He must take two pills at exactly every hour<br />followed by one pill every fifteen minutes for eight hours.<br />He must drink no more and no less than ten ounces of<br />water every twenty-five minutes and must void between.<br /> <br />Soak his arm in warm water for fifteen minutes then<br />place ice for ten minutes and repeat over and over for the<br />rest of the day. Give range of motion every thirty minutes.<br />He requires a back rub and foot rub every hour. Feed<br />him something tasty every hour. Be cheerful and do<br />whatever he asks at all times. Chart his condition and<br />vital signs every twenty minutes. You must do these things<br />exactly as I ordered or his injury will not heal properly, and<br />he will not able to play golf well."<br /> <br />The nurse left the doctor and entered the patient's room.<br />She was greeted by anxious family and an equally anxious<br />patient. All asked the nurse what the doctor had said about<br />the patient. The nurse started, "The doctor said that you will<br />live."<br /> <br />Then quickly reviewing the orders, the nurse added, "But<br />you will have to learn a new sport."<br />_______________________________________________<br />"The LeRoy Brothers"<br /> <br />A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get aid. The<br />office worker asked her, "How many children do you have?"<br /> <br />"Ten," she replied.<br /> <br />"What are their names?" he asked.<br /> <br />"LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy,<br />LeRoy, LeRoy, and LeRoy," she answered.<br /> <br />"They're all named LeRoy?" he asked "What if you<br />want them to come in from playing outside?"<br /> <br />"Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just call 'LeRoy,' and they<br />all come running in."<br /> <br />"And, if you want them to come to the table for dinner?"<br /> <br />"I just say, 'LeRoy, come eat your dinner'," she answered.<br /> <br />"But what if you just want ONE of them to do something?"<br />he asked.<br /> <br />"Oh, that's easy," she said. <br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />"I just use their last names!"
