SpinnerBait_Nut
Honorary Moderator Emeritus
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2002
- Messages
- 17,651
"Murphy's Laws For Law Enforcement"<br /> <br />1. Bullet Proof' vests aren't.<br /> <br />2. The bigger they are, the harder they fall. They also<br />punch, kick and choke harder too.<br /> <br />3. The speed at which you respond to a fight call is<br />inversely proportional to how long you've been a cop.<br /> <br />4. Tear gas works on cops too, and regardless of<br />wind direction, will always blow back in your face.<br /> <br />5. High speed chases will always proceed from an<br />area of light traffic to an area of extremely heavy traffic.<br /> <br />6. If you know someone who tortures animals and<br />wets the bed, he is either a serial killer or he works<br />for Internal Affairs.<br /> <br />7. Placing a gun back in a shoulder holster with your<br />finger on the trigger will cause you to walk with a limp.<br /> <br />8. Flash hiders don't really.<br /> <br />9. If you have 'cleared' all the rooms and met no resistance,<br />you and your entry team have probably kicked in the door<br />of the wrong house.<br /> <br />10. If a cop swings a baton in a fight, he will hit other cops<br />more often than he will hit the bad guys he swings at.<br /> <br />11. Domestic arguments will always migrate from an area<br />of few available weapons (living room), to an area with<br />many available weapons (kitchen).<br /> <br /> <br />12. If you have just punched out a handcuffed prisoner for<br />spitting at you, you are about to become a star on 'Eyewitness<br />News'.<br /><br />13. Bullets work on veteran cops too. They also work on<br />weight lifters, martial arts experts, department marksmen,<br />Vice cops, S. W. A. T. jocks, and others who consider<br />themselves immortal.<br /> <br />14. When a civilian sees a blue light approaching at a high<br />rate of speed, he will always pull into the lane the cop<br />needs to use.<br /> <br />15. If you drive your patrol car to the geometric center of<br />the Gobi Desert, within five minutes some dumb civilian<br />will pull along side you and ask for directions.<br /> <br />16. You can never drive slow enough to please the citizens<br />who don't need a cop, and you can never drive fast enough<br />to please the ones who do.<br /> <br />17. Any suspect with a rifle is a better shot than any cop<br />with a pistol.<br /> <br />18. From behind you, the bad guys can see your night sights<br />as well as you can.<br /> <br />19. On any call, there will always be more 'bad guys' than<br />there are good guys, and the farther away your back-up,<br />the more there will be.<br /> <br />20. The longer you've been a cop, the shorter your flashlight<br />and your temper gets.<br /> <br />21. Whatever you are about to do, if there is a good chance<br />it will get you killed, you probably shouldn't do it.<br /> <br />22. You should never do a shotgun search of a dark warehouse<br />with a cop whose nickname is "Boomer. "<br /> <br />23. The better you do your job, the more likely you are to be<br />shot, injured, complained on, sued, investigated, or<br />subpoenaed on your day off.<br /> <br />24. If a large group of drunk bikers is "holed-up" in a house,<br />the Department will send one officer in a beat car. If there is<br />one biker "holed-up" in a house, they will send the entire<br />S. W. A. T. Team.
