Holdimhook
Chief Petty Officer
- Joined
- Jun 26, 2005
- Messages
- 648
If you think we rednecks here in Allerbammer are so stupid, I challenge all high falutin' city boys (and girls) to take this redneck I.Q. test:<br /><br /> 1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will <br />support a 10 pound possum. <br /><br />2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks <br />in your front yard? <br />(A) '65 Ford Fairlane <br />(B) '69 Chevrolet Chevelle, or <br />(C) '64 Pontiac GTO. <br /><br />3. If your uncle builds a still, which operates at a capacity of 20 <br />gallons of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are required <br />to condense the product? <br /><br />4. A woodcutter has a chainsaw, which operates at 2700 RPM. The density <br />of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot <br />is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many <br />Budweisers will be drunk before the trees are cut down? <br /><br />5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12 <br />simultaneously, what would be the percentage decrease in the ozone <br />layer? <br /><br />6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a <br />field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 <br />feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch <br />collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed? <br /><br />7. A man owns a Tennessee house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with <br />an average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of his <br />grown children place a mobile home on the man's land and still have <br />enough property for their electric appliances to sit out front? <br /><br />8. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep <br />slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average <br />traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it <br />will strike a vehicle with a muffler? <br /><br />9. A coal mine operates a NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area. The <br />mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the <br />beginning of the 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will <br />be smoked during this shift? <br /><br />10. At a reduction in the gene pool variability rate of 7.5% per <br />generation, how long will it take a town which has been bypassed by the <br />interstate highway to breed a country and western singer? <br /><br />I betcha thought that test was gonna be an easy one, didn't you? It's <br />okay if you didn't do all that well. Just goes to show you... There's a <br />hole heap of things that big city book learning don't prepare you for in <br />this life. <br /><br />As an added bonus for taking the "REDNECK CHALLENGE" here's some <br />Southerly advice that may come in handy down the road a piece... Next <br />time you are too drunk to drive, walk to the nearest pizza shop and <br />place an order. When they go to deliver it, catch a ride home with 'em.
