A relay used in a trim motor setup is synonymous to a starter relay/solenoid setup. The trim motor uses more current then a simple switch can handle and therefore you need to use a relay to handle the current. So if you understand that current concept, you can see how such relays are wired. If a relay is getting hot, especially hot enough to melt, something is not wired correctly or your trim motor has some issues as well. The contacts of the relay should be the only part of the replay that carries lots of current, never the relay coil itself... So research how it should be wired and follow that schematic diagram... JMHO!