LubeDude
Admiral
- Joined
- Oct 8, 2003
- Messages
- 6,945
Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse is taking their sweet time:<br /> <br />1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they aren't looking.<br /> <br />2. Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.<br /> <br />3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.<br /> <br />4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "Code 3 in housewares" ... and see what happens.<br /> <br />5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.<br /> <br />6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.<br /> <br />7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.<br /> <br />8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't ! you people just leave me alone?'<br /> <br />9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.<br /> <br />10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.<br /> <br />11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.<br /> <br />12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.<br /> <br />13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!"<br /> <br />14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"<br /> <br />And; last, but not least..<br /> <br />15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and, then, yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
