They Walk Among Us ! ! !

Reel Poor

Vice Admiral
Joined
Jan 29, 2005
Messages
5,522
Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free to good home. "You want it, you take it." For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal. It looked to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read:
"Fridge for sale $50." The next day someone stole it.

Caution: They Walk Among Us

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While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?"
When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff."

They Walk Among Us!

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I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific" .

They Walk Among Us!

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My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our
cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a convertible, but "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving".

They Walk Among Us!

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My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it's designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk...

They Walk Among Us!

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My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount....

They Walk Among Us!

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I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?" I explained that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart, no matter which way the head is turned...

They Walk Among Us!

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I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"...

They Walk Among Us!

====================

While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces."

"They Walk Among Us!"
 

BoatBuoy

Rear Admiral
Joined
May 29, 2004
Messages
4,856
Re: They Walk Among Us ! ! !

On a 1957 Johnson 35 hp 2 cylinder, what is the firing order?
 

Reel Poor

Vice Admiral
Joined
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Messages
5,522
Re: They Walk Among Us ! ! !

BoatBuoy said:
On a 1957 Johnson 35 hp 2 cylinder, what is the firing order?

Is this a lefthand or righthand rotation engine? :=

 

BoatBuoy

Rear Admiral
Joined
May 29, 2004
Messages
4,856
Re: They Walk Among Us ! ! !

I'll have to check. I forgot that it makes a difference.
 

TexomaAv8r

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Joined
Sep 15, 2004
Messages
329
Re: They Walk Among Us ! ! !

I have pretty good phone manners at work. When I answer I always clearly state the comapny's name then my name.
At least once a day, ussualy more often, I will answer:
"[company name] this is Jeff" and the caller will ask: "Is this [company name]?" I say "yes it is"; they ask "May I speak to Jeff?"

Puzzling
 

KaGee

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Joined
Aug 14, 2004
Messages
7,069
Re: They Walk Among Us ! ! !

They frequent this board..... often.......8)
 

ob

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Joined
Aug 16, 2002
Messages
6,992
Re: They Walk Among Us ! ! !

KaGee said:
They frequent this board..... often.......8)

Or. do they often frequent this board?o:)

Those were good uns ReelPoor.
 

Pony

Rear Admiral
Joined
Jun 27, 2004
Messages
4,355
Re: They Walk Among Us ! ! !

I had something like this happen yesterday. I had to deliver a washing machine to this lady's house. Its probably the biggest/heaviest washing maching that you can buy.

She asked me if I thought it was gonna fit down the stairs. I said it should, just not with the hand truck. So me and my co-worker carried it down the stairs, squeezed it through to small doorways, and set it up. Ten minutes later she comes downstairs and askes "So did it it fit?" there was a small delay "Oh duh what am I thinking its down here so it must have........"
 

Gone

Petty Officer 1st Class
Joined
Aug 28, 2005
Messages
389
Re: They Walk Among Us ! ! !

Had a big debate last year in our state over switching to DST. (IN was on EST year round for years). Some objected because they didn't want the grass growing for an extra hour in the summertime, causing them to mow more often.

CD
DST prevailed.
 

POINTER94

Vice Admiral
Joined
Oct 12, 2003
Messages
5,031
Re: They Walk Among Us ! ! !

Wife was working over the summer last year, teaching summer school. They decided to make bubble wands. Her co-worker said she wanted to make a square wand because she had never seen a square bubble.

Here's your sign....
 

SS MAYFLOAT

Admiral
Joined
May 17, 2001
Messages
6,372
Re: They Walk Among Us ! ! !

Good ones RP!

One of my ongoing one is, I walk into a store with several tool boxes and parts to repair a piece of equipment in the kitchen. "Are you here to fix something?"...........No, I thought I would carry all this stuff into the kitchen to place an order for a Happy Meal. ......... or they pull this one on me when I have it all tore apart getting to the problem,,,,,,,"Are you sure you know how to fix it?

Then the workers that stand in front of the fryers and grills,,,"Is the A/C working?,,,,it is so hot in the kitchen. Yeah, right,,,,stand close to a fire and complain that its hot.....DUH
 

JB

Honorary Moderator Emeritus
Joined
Mar 25, 2001
Messages
45,907
Re: They Walk Among Us ! ! !

Many years ago, when I lived in Memphis, the papers were full of the big debate in Arkansas over teaching "furrin" languages in the public schools.

One day a letter to the editor appeared. This person explained that she had learned everything she needed to know from the Bible, and. . .

"If English is good enough for Jesus Christ, it is good enough for my kids."
 
Joined
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Messages
4,666
Re: They Walk Among Us ! ! !

Reel said:
They Walk Among Us ! ! !

Sounds like a line from "Candian Bacon". (1995) Starring John Candy.

-----
If you can't read a newspaper, you can't read.
 

aspeck

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Staff member
Joined
May 29, 2003
Messages
18,947
Re: They Walk Among Us ! ! !

Beautiful blonde girl from Texas (sorry LF) called me (we were going to school outside of Chicago) one winter morning and asked me to look at her car - it wouldn't start. I walked out to see ice hanging from the engine and all over the ground under the car. Asked her if she had anti-freeze in the car. Her reply?

"My dad told me I needed that last week, so I went out and bought a case." Then she opened the trunk and there was the case. She had anti-freeze in the car - IN THE TRUNK OF THE CAR STILL IN THE CASE!

Dang it, she was cute, rich, and smart, just didn't have enough common sense to get interested in her!
 
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