The Sacrifices we make to Fish

gonfishn · Aug 18, 2002

My Wife(God Bless Her} Pretty much lets me fish when ever I want to. But once a year I must put my gear away and go to her place of choice(no questions asked) and do what she wants. This year I get to go to a Place called The Biltemore Estates somewhere in the Carolinas. For excitement I get to sniff flowers and wander around and do the Tourist thing. I'm afraid the closest thing to water I'll get is a Hot tub. Instead of browsing around in a tackle Shop I'm Doomed to follow her around while she checks out all the Shops(of which she never buys}. To make matters worse all my hats are of course of the fishing variety of which I'm not allowed to wear. She Bought me a hat that is what I call Coyote ugly. Any Advice how how to cope with this for five days. This is my 2nd marriage and I'd like this to last for a while. The Leash is to short...........

Ross J · Aug 18, 2002

Re: The Sacrifices we make to Fish

Don't despair mate, help is at hand. No they don't have enough time to clone you yet! But there's good news, you can do something to lift your spirits whilst away and put a smile on your face and she'll never suspect why. Most likely she'll think you're enjoying yourself! Just go out and purchase three things - 1 - The loudest, most butt ugly shirt you can afford and wear that all the weekend. Every time you put it on tell yourself its to scare all the non-fisherpeople away! 2 - Purchase the sexiest pair of undies you can and let her know you're wearing them just for her, you'll get some unexpected attention later that way! 3 - Now this one is entirely selfish - purchase a brand new fishing rod and/or reel. Order it to arrive the day you return from that non-fishing place. That way your good lady wife won't suspect anything, but she won't be able to figure out the wry smirk on your face either. Well not untill you're back home anyway. The excitement of recieving the gear will keep your spirits up all week. Good luck sport. Ross PS when you get home arrange for a bunch of flowers to arrive to say thank you for a great holiday!

crab bait · Aug 18, 2002

Re: The Sacrifices we make to Fish

holey moley.. that 'bout brings a tear to my eye there GOIN'FISHIN'.. it really does.. in what a grown a$$ man has to put up with... o'well you love her & thats what love is all-a-bout,,i guess.. just think of it as 'your-turn-in-the-barrel'.. but be fore warned ,, ,ole buddy.. when you get home you better do some chants at the 'altar-of-sacarifice' ( your fish cleanin' station) .. DERWOOD will clue you in on that...i am sure... good luck.. tell us all about the PREETTY flowers.. hehehe...

sloopy · Aug 18, 2002

Re: The Sacrifices we make to Fish

I would just carry my lucky green worm in my pocket, if it somewere war, I might keep some fishing line on a kipliticko real rod (about 3inces long when folder) I like the flour idea!~

SS MAYFLOAT · Aug 18, 2002

Re: The Sacrifices we make to Fish

Hey Gonfishn, That is sorta close to Ashville. Talk her into going to see Chimmney Rock while you are down there. Lake Lure is just up the road aways. Pack up some gear and go fishing anyway. It is a good lake to fish in. We use to go to the hillclimb races at Chimney Rock when they use to have them. But they canceled them and don't have them anymore. But the Lake is still there and good fishn. Tastee Stuff Too!

derwood · Aug 18, 2002

Re: The Sacrifices we make to Fish

Gonefishen will be wishen-he-was-fishen....let us Bow our heads in a moment of silence...... Now what I propose is a pre trip sacrifice and a post trip sacrifice. Two nights before the trip you must gather up these items: 1: Some hair from your wifes brush. 2: A brochour for the trip you are about to embark on. 3: One cup flower petals (no particular kind). 4: An old bank stub. 5: The last button off your favorite fishing shirt. 6: A sewing needle. Round about midnight go out to the alter of sacrifice and clean it off....steril sacrificeing is better for this part of the incantation. Next you must take the hair from your wifes brush and thread it through the needle....Then make a string of petals buy running them together with the needle and hair. Finish the string with the button. Lay the brochur on the altar and place the flower string on top of it....makeing sure to have a perfectly strait line centered on the brochur. Take the bank stub (look at it closely because after the trip it will be awhile before you see that high of a number on another one) light it on fire starting at the flower end of the brochur When it catches on fire dance around the altar chanting...."GOOD TRIP...GOOD TRIP...GOOD TRIP!". What you have done by burning the brochur and pedals is ask the fish gods to not be offended by your absence as well as asked for a wonderful trip for your wife. (fish gods love wives) This they will do for her without question. By placeing the button at the end of the string you have ensured to the fish gods that as soon as you are back you promiss to go fishing....Just don't bolt as soon as you get back though....That will tell your wife you had a bad time and the fish gods won't like it if you go fishing and make her do all the unpacking....Remember that all wifes are at one with the fish gods. By useing the last button from the shirt you have ensured that it still fits when you get back after all the food you ate while you were away. While on the trip I suggest that you rush out the day before and get one of those little computer fishing games....That way if you get the D.T.s you can slip into the bathroom and get a fix. The night after your first fishing trip (post vaccation) you must once again go forth to the altar and make another sacrifice. This time you need: 1: Some scales from fish you caught that day. 2: Something you got from the trip. 3: A calendar. 4: A spool of old fishing line. 5: Your currant bank stub. 6: Some tissues. Lay the calendar on the altar. Center the spool of fishing line on the calendar....Put the item from your trip on top and sprinkle the fish scales over the top of that. Take the bank stub....look at the numbers closely and think about the last one you burnt....Take the tissues and wipe the tears from your eyes....we don't need any accedents happening with the fire because your eyes are teard up. Light it on fire and toss it on the altar. Once it catches dance around the altar chanting "TIGHT LINES TILL NEXT YEAR....TIGHT LINES TILL NEXT YEAR"....and so on. Now you have thanked them for a good trip and showed that you will fish as often as you can for the next year in order to make up for your absence on the water. Good luck and good gung fu (hawiian shirt style gung fu).

Voodoowood.

sloopy · Aug 18, 2002

Re: The Sacrifices we make to Fish

WOW

Ross J · Aug 18, 2002

Re: The Sacrifices we make to Fish

Jesus Derwood, I'd hate to think of what you'd have to do if you ever had a vehicle acident or something disasterous. Wait a minute, I think I can smell.......yes it is.........hey love why are you burning my hair?...........whats with the check book on fire?..........ow........ow.........OOOOWWWW..........whatdoyoumean it's 25 years and we've got to go overseas...........yes, yes anything just put my hair out......... Ross

Mike NZ · Aug 18, 2002

Re: The Sacrifices we make to Fish

Once a year! What a man has to put up with, all this down time where a fella can't fish. I feel like a dolphin and a member of the pods stuck in a net. I laughed I cried, I was moved Gonfishen.

Knoxes · Aug 19, 2002

Re: The Sacrifices we make to Fish

Biltmore has the largest (I think) vineyard in the Southeast and they have a huge wine cellar with tasting tours. Just bring yourself a folding chair, pack of smokes and some munchies. Make yourself comfortable. Drink to oblivion. If anyone asks, you're with "Town & Country" magazine. Nobody will know any better. Seriously, the Estate is the largest private home in the country and is buried in the Pisgah mountains - absolutely beautiful country. Asheville is nearby and has some great food and entertainment. It's kinda a strange mix of bohemia and retirees. Or go south down to Highlands and Cashiers. Pisgah National Forest is stunningly beautiful and has tons of hiking and camping. Sound like a travel agent, don't I? Spent a ton of time up there when I was a kid - it's been awhile, tho.

gonfishn · Aug 19, 2002

Re: The Sacrifices we make to Fish

Ya all are truely a mess. I had to copy my post to remember everthing. Please understand my wife is a ICU Nurse and her idea of camping is with a Roof over her head,air and a TV. When We first got married I took her up to tne North Woods where I have a Modern home on the Lake. I thought to break her in easy on the outdoor stuff(wrong). Her first mornig we got up so I could show her my Domain. Being the gentleman I am I let her out first. The Next thing I heard was a Blood Curling scream and then looking up at the ceiling. Now Understand I Stand at 6'5" and tip the scales at 240. The reason for the foot marks on my chest was that she Disturbed a Black Bear who was resting on my porch. When I looked up the bear went one way and it took me an hour to get her out of the bathroom. Needless to say I had to Play Daniel Boone and scout the area before she would come out. I really think this is her way of getting even with me.....Some time remind me to tell you of our first Fishing trip up north and how I lost not one but two poles on one outing. What goes around comes around and in this case I get to Smell the Roses.

Fishbusters · Aug 19, 2002

Re: The Sacrifices we make to Fish

That is too close to some good fishing not to take a rod. I guess i am lucky my wife likes to fish and knows how miserable I would be on any trip more than 15 min from home if I don't at least carry a rod and some tackle. I have even gotten to where I don't always have to use it just have it in case.

SS MAYFLOAT · Aug 19, 2002

Re: The Sacrifices we make to Fish

Hey! Shes gotta sleep sometime? Pack the Gear!

crab bait · Aug 19, 2002

Re: The Sacrifices we make to Fish

don't ya see what happend... there's an old indian leadgen of how 'FISH GODS' transform themselves into bears.. don't ya see it... it came to see you.. to betow oppond you great honors as a master of the arts of angling a gung foo worrior..but as fate would have it,,,your wife ( as lovely as she maybe ) startled it... an now more then ever your 'offerings' are now more important as ever.. you gotta get back-on-track....!!

gonfishn · Aug 19, 2002

Re: The Sacrifices we make to Fish

Crabby your killing me.....you got derwood off on one of his tangants and now this......

RICKRICK1 · Aug 28, 2002

Re: The Sacrifices we make to Fish

gonfishin just remember you started thei post

gonfishn · Aug 29, 2002

Re: The Sacrifices we make to Fish

Thanks for the reminder RR1. In this case I had to share this with my fishn buds. Only ya all would understand how I feel about this Honey do Vac. I have taken in all suggestions and have a plan of attack which I plan on sharing with you tommorrow when I post...... T-Minus 3 days.........

trollhole · Aug 29, 2002

Re: The Sacrifices we make to Fish

Hey Gonefishing I know everything there is to know about Biltmore. Was just there with my girlfriend about 6 weeks ago. Whats really funny about this post is we saw a guy at the garden section just sitting there with a frown on his face while his wife was running around looking at all the roses. I told my girlfriend I bet he wish he was fishing! Hey bring your rod because they have a pond! It's called the "Bass Pond" Get you one of those colapaseable kinds. I really don't know if you can fish there but if not the Broad river is also on the estate and I know you can fish that. Don't know what's in it but I bet you can find out. Here is a good place to go for a guided trip and they say you could catch some Muskie or smallmouth. Bigfoot Guides At least you can see whats good as far as fishing. I do know that the is some good fishing in pisgah forest right off the Blue Ridge parkway on 276 south. The stream is right beside the road. And about half way down they have a fish hachery which is really cool. And about the winery; it's a good deal. You get to sample all the free wine you want. Trust me I came out of there with a serious buzz! We stayed at the Inn at Biltmore and had a blast. A few tips on the house it's self. Do the main tour first thing in the morning before the crowds. Second make sure you do the "Behind the Scenes Tour" you will really like that cause you get to go in the basement and see all the boilers, electrical, and all the stuff that makes that house work. Also do the roof top tour you will have a blast. The funny thing about this house is that ole George Vanderbilt was a 30 year old Bachleor when he built this 100 bedroom house. And 60 of them were just for servants! The house is the biggest house in the United States to this day. And it was his summer home. A few things for your wife to remember is the chocolate store in the stables. There's some good and I mean good chocolate there. Make sure she tries the ammeretto chocolate balls. As far as places to eat there is the Bistro at the winery that serves up a mean Trout. And there is a mexican restaurat across from the entrance of Biltmore that has some great food. Hey I will have to say my girlfriend had a blast and to tell you the truth I did too. Plus it can score some major brownie points for the next time you need to get on the water and throw a line in.

Hey e-mail me if you want to know more or have any questions. mshepherd@828rugs.com Other places of fishing interest: http://www.rodsguide.com/FISHING.html http://www.smokyonthefly.com/ http://www.oldsmoky.com/ http://www.citizen-times.com/mtg/fishing.shtml http://www.smokeymountains.net/fishinginfo.html http://google.yahoo.com/bin/query?p=biltmore+estate+fishing&hc=0&hs=0

gonfishn · Aug 29, 2002

Re: The Sacrifices we make to Fish

Man TrollHole you will have me howling at Moon for the next few nights. Never,ever put that kinda Fishn info In front of addict as I am. Now I'm thinking of planning Illegal Incursions into the no no. I'm also thinking ESP when You saw that poor soul sitting in the garden. I will hide your Email until I get Back because you may hear from her instead of me. At least now I know some sunshine is at the end of this tunnel. Does my heart good to know a fellow fishn bud has did the scouting for me....... Whats good for you has got to be OK with me.......

Fishbusters · Aug 29, 2002

Re: The Sacrifices we make to Fish

As I said nice area great fishing. Don't forget a day trip shopping to the Cherokee Indian Res. They stock the trout streams at least twice a week.

The Sacrifices we make to Fish

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