LadyFish
Admiral
- Joined
- Mar 18, 2003
- Messages
- 6,894
If you remember the Original Hollywood Squares and its<br />comics, this may bring a tear to your eyes. These<br />great questions and answers are from the days when<br />"Hollywood Squares" game show responses were<br />spontaneous and clever, not scripted and (often) dull,<br />as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking<br />the questions, of course.<br /><br />Q. Do female frogs croak?<br />A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under<br />water long enough.<br /><br />Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least<br />how high should you<br />be?<br />A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking<br />should do it.<br /><br />Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000<br />years.<br />A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way<br />sometimes.<br /><br />Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you<br />probably a man or a woman?<br />A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.<br /><br />Q. According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a<br />party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay<br />to come out and ask him if he's married?<br />A. Rose Marie: No; wait until morning.<br /><br />Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you<br />get older?<br />A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.<br /><br />Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to<br />say "I Love You"?<br />A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple<br />and a twenty.<br /><br />Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get<br />Enough"?<br />A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from<br />the next apartment.<br /><br />Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or<br />less with your hands while talking?<br />A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old<br />question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll<br />never forget.<br /><br />Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?<br />A. Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.<br /><br />Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries.<br />Are you going to get any during the first year?<br />A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing<br />strawberries.<br /><br />Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?<br />A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.<br /><br />Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two<br />subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is<br />the other?<br />A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.<br /><br />Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or<br />in the closet?<br />A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in<br />the bedroom.<br /><br />Q. Can boys join the CampFireGirls?<br />A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.<br /><br />Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his<br />tail. What will a goose do?<br />A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?<br /><br />Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you<br />give birth to?<br />A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be<br />afraid of the dark.<br /><br />Q. According to Ann Landers, is their anything wrong<br />with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of<br />people?<br />A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.<br /><br />Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your<br />body, what is it?<br />A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly<br />isn't neglected.<br /><br />Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put<br />horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?<br />A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.<br /><br />Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time,<br />your wife or your elephant?<br />A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?<br /><br />Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for<br />its sex?<br />A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is<br />up to him.<br /><br />Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly<br />believes in them and has actually seen them on at<br />least two occasions. What are they?<br />A. Charley Weaver: His feet<br /><br />Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you<br />should never do in bed?<br />A. Paul Lynde: Point and Laugh
<br /><br />Ever watch the old Match Game re-runs on GSN, LF?....