KaGee
Admiral
- Joined
- Aug 14, 2004
- Messages
- 7,069
We have all got them, I thought this fit my feelings well...<br />
![Big grin :D :D](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7)
<br /><br />I want to thank all of you who have taken the time and trouble<br />to send me your chain letters over the past two years. Thank<br />you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy. Because of<br />your concern... <br />I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains. I no<br />longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these products<br />are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans. I no longer<br />drink anything out of a can because I will get sick from the rat feces<br />and urine. <br />I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer. <br />I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could get<br />pricked with a needle infected with AIDS. <br />I no longer use cancer causing deodorants even though I smell like a wet<br />dog on a hot day. <br />I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a<br />perfume sample and rob me. <br />I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually<br />Al Qaida in disguise. <br />I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our<br />American troops. <br />I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a<br />stupid number for which I will get the phone bill from hell with calls<br />to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan. I no longer eat<br />prepackaged foods because the estrogens they contain will turn me gay. <br />I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant<br />freaks with no eyes or feathers. <br />I no longer date the opposite sex because they will take my kidneys and<br />leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice. I no longer have any<br />sneakers -- but that will change once I receive my free replacement pair<br />from Nike. <br />I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have<br />their recipe. <br />I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking<br />out for me. <br />I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is<br />about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time). I no longer<br />have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000<br />that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special<br />e-mail program. <br />Yes, I want to thank all of you soooooooo much for looking out for me! I<br />will now return the favor. <br /><br />If you DON'T send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next 60<br />seconds, a large bird with diarrhea will poop on your head at 5:00 pm<br />tomorrow afternoon. I know this will occur because it actually happened<br />to a friend of a friend of a friend.