Southern Engineering Test

CCrew

Chief Petty Officer
Joined
Sep 10, 2003
Messages
416
We Southern boys are sick and tired of hearing about how dumb people are in the South. We challenge any so-called smart Yankee to take this exam administered by the University of Mississippi Engineering Department: <br /><br />1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10-pound possum. <br /><br />2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard? A '65 Ford Fairlane, a '69 Chevrolet Chevelle or a '64 Pontiac GTO. <br /><br />3. If your uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are required to condense the product? <br /><br />4. A woodcutter has a chainsaw which operates at 2700 RPM. The density of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweisers will be drunk before the trees are cut down? <br /><br />5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the percentage decrease in the ozone layer? <br /><br />6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, on average, how many hound dogs will be killed? <br /><br />7. A man owns a Tennessee house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of his grown children place a mobile home on the man's land and still have enough property for their electric appliances to sit out front? <br /><br />8. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it will strike a vehicle with a muffler? <br /><br />9. A coal mine operates a NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area. The mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning of the 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be smoked during the shift? <br /><br />10. At a reduction in the gene pool variability rate of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town which has been bypassed by the interstate to breed a country-western singer?
 

sloopy

Commander
Joined
Jul 12, 2002
Messages
2,999
Re: Southern Engineering Test

I don't have a sercret deconding ring!
 

ChrisMcLaughlin

Petty Officer 1st Class
Joined
Jan 22, 2004
Messages
387
Re: Southern Engineering Test

I still say there aint nothin' beter n' sittin on the end of the dock at sunset with a cold orange crush and some fried squirrel. Thats just good livin'.
 

18rabbit

Captain
Joined
Nov 14, 2003
Messages
3,202
Re: Southern Engineering Test

Oh yeah! Fried gray squirrel…tastes just like…squirrel?!? :D
 

Bassy

Lieutenant Commander
Joined
Aug 15, 2003
Messages
1,795
Re: Southern Engineering Test

Ice, ice cold orange crush... ahh... that's heaven.<br /> :) <br />Bassy
 

OBJ

Supreme Mariner
Joined
Dec 27, 2002
Messages
10,161
Re: Southern Engineering Test

I failed the test...... :eek: <br /><br />Hey....I'm from Ohio...what kin uh say?
 

sloopy

Commander
Joined
Jul 12, 2002
Messages
2,999
Re: Southern Engineering Test

Anyone want to help sloopy?
 

ebbtide176

Commander
Joined
Jan 22, 2002
Messages
2,289
Re: Southern Engineering Test

dang 00boaty, your predicament is funnier than the parody. <br /><br />its really just a big joke to make fun of the southerners, sloop. you can tell that some of the details are impossible to know. its just a joke :D <br /><br /> except most of it seems to use real life scenarios.... hmmm maybe they surveyed my kinfolks in AL for the questions ;)
 

sloopy

Commander
Joined
Jul 12, 2002
Messages
2,999
Re: Southern Engineering Test

I know a lot of them are fake, but Bugs bunny said something about a decoding ring! PLease help me!
 

SoulWinner

Commander
Joined
Apr 16, 2002
Messages
2,423
Re: Southern Engineering Test

#6, not enough information. Now if'n it's around April to June, them hounds are gonna have a litter or two of puppies, so add 20 to your answere. Now inf'n it's huntin' season, the answere is two (fer the two ole hounds thats too old fer hunt'n and stay behind to guard the house).
 

sloopy

Commander
Joined
Jul 12, 2002
Messages
2,999
Re: Southern Engineering Test

WHAT ARE YOU GUYS LAUGHING AT!!!
 
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