Son shocks us, pulling the pin on the military.

[Bubba1235]

Been quit a weekend for Mrs. Bubba and myself. Our son called Saturday to talk with us and told us that with 15 1/2 years in the Army he's decided to walk away from everything and discharge this month. He and I talked for over an hour with me being the one saying he already has so much invested its a shame to walk away but he is adament and says he just can't deal with the "stupid stuff" as he calls it anymore.

This is a young man that has done a one tour in Afghanistan, two in Iraq and two in Korea plus a stint in Germany and has been at Ft. Hood for over a year now. He worked HARD to make E-7 and has passed all the tests to make E-8 but has to wait for an opening and was willing to do that. He is about as "Rah rah rah America" as they come, volunteered for Iraq and Afgahanistan and has a chest full of ribbons and medals from both theaters.

Unfortunately he has reached a point he's had enough of watching recruits being sent off to the middle east with no end in sight and tells me he just can't continue to be part of "the system" that does it. Of course his mother and I stand behind him 100% and that will never change. I can't possibly know what it's been like for him or what he is going through right now but if a young man like my son has lost faith in our military's leadership it doesn't bode well for us at all. Something has to change!!!

 

[foodfisher]

Re: Son shocks us, pulling the pin on the military.

Talk harder! He'll regret not having the extra income in the "golden" years.

 

[tswiczko]

Re: Son shocks us, pulling the pin on the military.

Congratulations on getting to see your son sooner than you expected.
Other than that I don't know what to else to say other than he has great parents for supporting him in any decision he makes.

I think you are both lucky to have the relationship you have.

 

[JB]

Re: Son shocks us, pulling the pin on the military.

What foodfisher said.

With the prospect of retirement pay, health care and other retired benefits for the rest of his life (probably worth more than a million bux) it seems foolish to walk away with only 4.5 years left. In fact it might be less with what in my day was called "constructive time credit" earned by minority enlistment and early re enlistments.

Daughter #2 will be retiring from the Navy at the end of this year after 37 years combined active and reserve time.

I sympathize with your son's frustration, Bubba. Tell him to talk with a psychologist about it.

 

[Jlawsen]

Re: Son shocks us, pulling the pin on the military.

I pulled the plug on Active Duty (USN) after 17-1/2 years as a E-9. Tell your son to do his homework, he may be able to opt for reserve duty under one of the many special circumstances that will not require him to drill and in some cases, count year for year towards retirement. I got out in 92' and at that time there were a number of options that were close held little secrets. I'm not sure what options are available now but tell him to leave no stone unturned.

I made the decision to get out because of a lucrative job offer that, over 20 years, exceeded the total amount of income for the remaining years I would have servered and the total retirement that I expected to draw. I ended up with the job and the retirement and I'm close to retiring again.

 

[rbh]

Re: Son shocks us, pulling the pin on the military.

Geeze, that has to be a hard call on his part 15 1/2 pensionable years and pulling the pin VS sticking it out to the end.

Although it sounds as if he has seen enough already.

 

[rbh]

Re: Son shocks us, pulling the pin on the military.

Hey Bubba, just thinking out loud here.
"At one Time" In some countries time in theatre or in a combat zone doubled or tripled your pensionable time.
Do not know if this is applicable for US forces, but have your son look into it.

 

[TilliamWe]

Re: Son shocks us, pulling the pin on the military.

Yeah my only thoughts are the same as the guys who are advising him to figure out a way to get his 20 year pension. Please have him look into what Jlawsen and the others metioned. No need to do ALL that HARD service and not get a retirement out of it.

 

[soggy_feet]

Re: Son shocks us, pulling the pin on the military.

His exact words were, "Dad I love my country and I'd give my life for it, but I can't continue training my soldiers (he always refers to them as his) to die for no d*** reason other than making a politician look good and when this is all said and done I have to live with myself".

I would like to see him stick it out when he is this close but,,, I sure don't want him to do it if he can't live with it.

EDIT: He did make one other point. 15 years of service and he's been in a war zone for 12 of them and active combat theaters for 8. That's a lot to ask of anyone in my book.

He's illustrated the primary reason I couldn't bring myself to join in the first place.

I don't know the in's and out's of positions he could transfer into, if staying in pays off more than starting a new career (which without knowing anything, it'd be a pretty good guess that established > starting new), EDIT
EDIT

 

[southkogs]

Re: Son shocks us, pulling the pin on the military.

...He did make one other point. 15 years of service and he's been in a war zone for 12 of them and active combat theaters for 8. That's a lot to ask of anyone in my book.

Those are guys who are the unrecognized casualties of war. And unfortunately (IMHO) the agencies within the military best suited to help these guys keep it all together have their hands tied most of the time.

It'll be a tough call either way, and I wish him the very best and thank him for his willingness to serve.

 

[aspeck]

Re: Son shocks us, pulling the pin on the military.

Bubba, please pass on my thanks to your son for his service to me and my country. Like you and your wife, he needs support in whatever he decides to do. He must do what is best for him. I wish there was some way that he can find to get his years of service in necessary for his full pension and benefits.

To all posters on this thread, tread carefully. This topic can easily get political, and has bordered very close to the line, if not going over it already. Please keep your posts about Bubba and his son and anything helpful to Bubba and his son's situation. Don't use it as an opportunity to support or condemn the current administration or their policies and practices.

 

[JB]

Re: Son shocks us, pulling the pin on the military.

Among the options not discussed, Bubba, is a transfer to USN or USAF. He would probably have to take a reduction in rank, but it has been done. A distant cousin transferred from the Army to USAF during Nam. He was a chopper pilot and became a spotter pilot.

Please friends, it is clear that Bubba Jr. has strong political feelings about what is going on in the Middle East. We are not allowed to discuss political issues here.

I have sent friends and relatives to four wars and have a lot of experience with lack of understanding and support of the motives of our leaders. That comes with the territory. Fighting men often feel like pawns in a game they don't understand.

 

[Bob_VT]

Re: Son shocks us, pulling the pin on the military.

I too lost soldiers and friends and I also lost friends to drunk driver's and work accidents not to mention 5 classmates in the World Trade Center. It is something that happens.

Bubba your son is going to do what he wants to do. I feel his frustration......... he is 4 1/2 years from health care and monthly money........ I would not be able to afford the healthcare which in itself is a benefit.

My only advice is to have your son research special duty assignments such as Drill Instructor, Recruiting or a few others to help his remaining time. Tough decision if he wants to talk PM me and I would be happy to lend him some advice.

 

[bajaunderground]

Re: Son shocks us, pulling the pin on the military.

Growing up in the military family I did, I can sympathize what you're having to deal with. I like a lot of the ideas presented here as options?!

I personally appreciate the time your son gave to his country, we are better off because of it but IMHO he deserves all that is owed to him and the thought of having to give up the last 4.5 years somehow seems unfair to him. I'm pretty sure the Coast Guard would welcome a prior military man with such great accolades?! Maybe there's a way to carry-over service time? Anyway, just a thought! Being how much WE all love boats, maybe the fruit didn't fall to far from the tree?!

Also, if he likes serving hos fellow man in such a service minded fashion, there's always City fire departments and police departments?! They pay fairly well with good benefits and give preference point to veterans!

Good Luck!

 

[Tail_Gunner]

Re: Son shocks us, pulling the pin on the military.

Have this conversation. The military is a well oiled machine with really very few politics in relation to the private sector. what i see today in state government and even the private sector is a system that was built on policy's that are agenda driven and have very little if anything to do with performance and reward.

That seems to be his beef...policy direction and results. He will be saddened coming back to the private much has changed in the past 15 yrs...Nothing is the same..I do not want to political here but things will change after the elections..There is far more going on than meet's the eye....Six more months is not a long time to wait.... Either way the change will be dramatic.

Is he aware of the union battle's and govt beaurcy going on in this country...Ok not going to elaborate to much..Just make him aware of all the turmoil he is coming home to and more than probably he is someone leaving a postion in whch he is experienced with insight which is badly needed in that part of the world.

 

[nwcove]

Re: Son shocks us, pulling the pin on the military.

jmo, but it sounds as tho hes at the end of his rope, has seen enough, done enough. much more time in a war zone could turn this young man into a stranger to his family and friends.

 

[Don S]

Re: Son shocks us, pulling the pin on the military.

Folks, this thread is closed. It has no where to go but political, and at 33+ years of age and 15 years of service the man is quite capable of of making his own decisions in life. I'm sure he thought about things long and hard before making his choice.