So a skeleton walks into

ChrisMcLaughlin

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387
a bar and says,"Bartender, give me a beer...and a mop"<br /><br />What is your favorite one-liner? The oldest, funniest, or corniest, one-liner you've heard or know.
 

gonfishn

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May 16, 2002
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2,390
Re: So a skeleton walks into

I will bite...Instead of letting someone hit that chip on my shoulder I use to say if ya feel froggy then leap or there isn't anything between us but air and opportunity and if I was you I would't mess with either..Now at half a century I move like a turtle and even the air blows me over :D
 

SpinnerBait_Nut

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Re: So a skeleton walks into

Take my advice; I don't use it anyway.<br /><br />A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.<br /><br />If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you!<br /><br />He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.<br /><br />Anything not nailed down is a cat toy.<br /><br />I saw Elvis. He sat between me and Bigfoot on the UFO.<br /><br />Next time you wave, use all your fingers.<br /><br />The only perfect science is hindsight.<br /><br />He does the work of three men: Larry, Moe and Curly.<br /><br />A procrastinator's work is never done.<br /><br />My favorite mythical creature? The honest politician.<br /><br />Leftists are among the first to speak of their rights.<br /><br />A penny saved is a Congressional spending oversight.<br /><br />I like kids, but I don't think I could eat a whole one.<br /><br />AIBOHPHOBIA - the fear of palindromes.<br /><br />If puns were outlawed, only outlaws would have puns.<br /><br />I was the next door kid's imaginary friend.<br /><br />If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.<br /><br />Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.<br /><br />I'm an apathetic sociopath - I'd kill you if I cared.<br /><br />Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?<br /><br />Even crime wouldn't pay if the government ran it.
 

Carphunter

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Aug 11, 2002
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Re: So a skeleton walks into

Two blondes walk into a building..............you would've thought one of 'em would have seen it. :p
 

JoeW

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Nov 8, 2003
Messages
664
Re: So a skeleton walks into

Axe me about Ebonics<br /><br />(in response to being flipped off)<br />Is that your IQ, or the number of friends you had before your dog died?
 

SpinnerBait_Nut

Honorary Moderator Emeritus
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Re: So a skeleton walks into

Originally posted by joew94th:<br /> Axe me about Ebonics<br /><br />(in response to being flipped off)<br />Is that your IQ, or the number of friends you had before your dog died?
Or your age.<br />edit: Not you joe. sorry.
 

snapperbait

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Aug 20, 2002
Messages
5,754
Re: So a skeleton walks into

Three legged dog limps into an old west saloon.. Bartender asks the dog, "what can i do for you?"... Dog say's "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw".... :D
 

johnson-liner

Petty Officer 1st Class
Joined
May 19, 2004
Messages
201
Re: So a skeleton walks into

Made one up myself about a month ago (at least i'd never heard it before)<br /><br />Kind of a mix of "duty calls" and a "booty call"<br /><br />When booty calls, I answer! :D :D
 

Bart Sr.

Lieutenant Commander
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Jul 26, 2002
Messages
1,603
Re: So a skeleton walks into

Wanna hear a DIRTY joke:<br /><br />OK><br /> <br /><br /> ><br /><br /> ><br /> <br /> ><br /><br /> ><br /><br /> ><br /><br /> ><br /><br /> ><br /><br /> ><br /><br /> ><br /><br /> ><br /><br />A white horse fell into a mud puddle.
 

mellowyellow

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Re: So a skeleton walks into

(bird response)<br />holding middle 3 fingers in the air..<br />read between the lines! :p
 

gaugeguy

Captain
Joined
Jun 4, 2003
Messages
3,564
Re: So a skeleton walks into

Originally posted by Mr Crabbs:<br /> A baby seal walks into a club
My all time favorite :D <br /><br />Heard it several ways...A baby seal walks into a bar, bartender says whadaya want, seal says anything but a Canadian Club. :D
 

JoeW

Senior Chief Petty Officer
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Nov 8, 2003
Messages
664
Re: So a skeleton walks into

When they were passing out brains he thought they said trains and said "give me a small one".
 

JoeW

Senior Chief Petty Officer
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Nov 8, 2003
Messages
664
Re: So a skeleton walks into

I don't get no respect...<br />.<br />.<br />My wife says she wants to make love in the back seat of the car...<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />..she want's me to drive. :eek:
 

SpinnerBait_Nut

Honorary Moderator Emeritus
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Messages
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Re: So a skeleton walks into

Originally posted by joew94th:<br /> When they were passing out brains he thought they said trains and said "give me a small one".
OR "Give me a slow one"
 

Jack Shellac

Lieutenant Commander
Joined
Aug 7, 2002
Messages
1,661
Re: So a skeleton walks into

Child: "Mom, the house is on fire!"<br />Mom: "Be quiet! You'll wake your father!"
 

Throbbin Rods

Petty Officer 1st Class
Joined
Jan 25, 2003
Messages
213
Re: So a skeleton walks into

One of my favorites<br /><br />If brains were gasoline, he couldn't run two gocarts 'round the inside of a cheerio.<br /><br />And another (about many workplaces)<br /><br />If idiots were airplanes this place would be an airport
 

bh357

Chief Petty Officer
Joined
Jun 12, 2003
Messages
471
Re: So a skeleton walks into

quote:<br />--------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />Originally posted by joew94th:<br />When they were passing out brains he thought they said trains and said "give me a small one". <br />--------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />OR "Give me a slow one"<br />
Or "No thanks, I'd rather take the bus"
 
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