I received these in an email and thought they were cute so I posted them here.<br /><br />Snappy Answer #1<br />A flight attendant was stationed at the departure<br />gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she<br />extended her hand for the ticket, and he opened his<br />trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat<br />she said, Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your<br />stub.<br /><br /> <br />------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />-<br /><br />Snappy Answer #2<br />A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the<br />grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for<br />her family. She asked a stock boy, Do these turkeys<br />get any bigger? The stock boy replied, No ma'am,<br />they're dead.<br /><br /> <br />------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />-<br /><br />Snappy Answer #3<br />The cop got out of his car and the kid who was<br />stopped for speeding rolled down his window. I've<br />been waiting for you all day, the cop said. The kid<br />replied, Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.<br />When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the<br />kid on his way without a ticket.<br /><br /> <br />------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />-<br /><br />Snappy Answer #4<br />A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A<br />sign comes up that reads low bridge ahead. Before he<br />knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he<br />gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for<br />miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets<br />out of his car and walks around to the truck driver,<br />puts his hands on his hips and says, Got<br />stuck, huh? The truck driver says, No, I was<br />delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.<br /><br /> <br />------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />-<br /><br />Snappy Answer #5 best Snappy Answer of the Year! <br />A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's<br />final exam. Now class, I don't tolerate any excuses<br />for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a<br />nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or<br />illness, or a death in your immediate family but<br />that's it, no other excuses whatsoever! A smart-***<br />guy in the back of the room raised his hand and<br />asks, What would you say if tomorrow I said I was<br />suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?<br />The entire class does its best to stifle their<br />laughter and snickering. When silence is restored,<br />the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student,<br />shakes her head, and sweetly says, Well, I guess<br />you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.<br /><br /> <br />------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />-<br /><br />Can't get enough?<br />The BEST is LAST~!<br />A pompous minister was seated next to a TEXAN on a<br />flight to Dallas. After the plane was airborne,<br />drink orders were taken. The TEXAN asked for a<br />whiskey and soda, which was brought and placed<br />before him. The flight attendant then asked the<br />minister if he would like a drink. He replied in<br />disgust, I'd rather be savagely raped by brazen<br />*****s than let liquor touch my lips. The TEXAN<br />looked at the minister, then handed his drink back<br />to the attendant and said, I didn't know we had a<br />choice.
