eeboater
Commander
- Joined
- Jul 19, 2004
- Messages
- 2,644
How To Shower Like a Woman: <br /><br />Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. <br /><br />Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. <br /><br />Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc. <br /><br />Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. <br /><br />Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. <br /><br />Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. <br /><br />Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced. <br /><br />Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. <br /><br />Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. <br /><br />Rinse conditioner off hair. <br /><br />Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower. <br /><br />Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex. <br /><br />Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. <br /><br />Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. <br /><br />Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. <br /><br />If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. <br /><br /><br />How To Shower Like a Man: <br /><br />Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. <br /><br />Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound. <br /><br />Look at your manly physique in the mirror. <br /><br />Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ***. <br /><br />Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. <br /><br />Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. <br /><br />Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. <br /><br />Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. <br /><br />Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. <br /><br />Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee. <br /><br />Rinse off and get out of shower. <br /><br />Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. <br /><br />Admire wiener size in mirror again. <br /><br />Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. <br /><br />Return to bedroom with towel around waist. <br /><br />If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again. <br /><br />Throw wet towel on bed. <br /><br />If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something so very wrong with you.
