LadyFish
Admiral
- Joined
- Mar 18, 2003
- Messages
- 6,894
Rules of a Gunfight<br /><br />Avoid them like the plague<br /><br />Be aware of what is going on around you by staying in condition yellow.<br /><br />Have a plan or two. (If not, a "Last Will & Testament will do.)<br /><br />Corollary: No plan survives contact with the enemy.<br /><br />Bring at least one gun (don't bring a knife).<br /><br />Bring the biggest gun you can handle.<br /><br />Bring friends (as friendly witnesses or fire support).*<br /><br />Let close air support or artillery soften-up the target for you. ;-)<br /><br />Make use of available cover.<br /><br />Remember the difference between concealment and cover.<br /><br />Don't get shot (Use cover to your advantage).<br /><br />Place your shots well.<br /><br />Pay attention to where your shots fall.<br /><br />"Speed's fine, but accuracy is final."<br /><br />Don't miss. (You can't miss fast enough to win.)<br /><br />Rules of drawing<br /><br />If you're the bad guy, draw & shoot first.<br /><br />If you're the good guy, draw second and shoot first.<br /><br />Never turn your back on an armed bad guy, even if he's down.<br /><br />Rules of wounds<br /><br />A "sucking chest wound" is nature's way of telling you to slow down.<br /><br />If you're bleeding to death, say something witty.<br /><br />If you're actually dying, say something deep.<br /><br />Never assume your opponent is out of ammo.<br /><br />Bring lots of ammo.<br /><br />In combat, you will be scared. You will have a tendency to shoot high. Be aware of this and aim low.<br /><br />Rules of quitting<br /><br />Don't quit just because you're hit; GET EVEN!<br /><br />Never quit, period.<br /><br />There is no prize for second place.<br /><br />There's no such thing as "unfair advantage."<br /><br />He who lives to run away will live to run another day (the best strategy is being somewhere else).<br /><br />It is better to give than receive (Just like Christmas).<br /><br />Professionals are predictable, it's the amateurs that are dangerous.<br /><br />Anything you do can get you shot, including nothing.<br /><br />If your opponents didn't have the courtesy to "Count Off!" before beginning, assume that there's one more somewhere.<br /><br />When the cops pull up, think fast and move slow.<br /><br />Say nothing afterwards but the Seven Magic Words: "I'd like to speak with my attorney."<br /><br />Distribute press releases indicating you target belongs to a cult.*<br /><br />Drop the one with the shotgun first.<br /><br />Afterward, alter evidence to favor your position and plan for perjury.*<br /><br />Use cutesy green-and-purple colored weapons and ammo so the press won't show any video of your non-evil-looking equipment. Fuzzy rifle-wrap works best.<br /><br />Insist on at least $50K from tabloid TV producers.
