redneck vacation

[rosco_59]

-------Original Message-------<br /><br /> <br /><br />From: Bill Maxwell<br /><br />Date: 07/09/05 11:29:54<br /><br />To: Cathy Williams; Rod & Cathy Ross; Brenda Stamps; Wayne & Celia May; Mickie Lee; Beverly Weidenburner<br /><br />Subject: RedNeck Vacation<br /><br /> <br /><br /> <br /><br /> <br /><br />Vacation......<br /><br />Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther, "Ya know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it a little different.<br /><br />The last few years, I took your advice about where to go.<br /><br />Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Earline got pregnant.<br /><br />Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Earline got pregnant again.<br /><br />Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Earline didn't get pregnant again."<br /><br />Luther asks Billy Bob, "So, what you gonna do this year that's different?"<br /><br />Billy Bob says, "This year I'm taking Earline with me."

 

[Vlad D Impeller]

Re: redneck vacation

you're a bad bad boy Luther

 

[SS MAYFLOAT]

Re: redneck vacation

DOH!

 

[brother chris]

Re: redneck vacation

 

[SpinnerBait_Nut]

Re: redneck vacation

That Luther is a smart guy. But I am afraid of what Earline looks like.

 

[Holdimhook]

Re: redneck vacation

I think Luther and Earline might qualify for this:<br />__________________________________________________<br />You might be an EXTREME redneck if:<br /> <br />1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in<br />front<br />of her kids.<br /> <br />2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how<br />much gas is in it.<br /> <br />3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.<br /> <br />4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different<br />night.<br /> <br />5. You wonder how service stations keep their restroom so clean.<br /> <br />6. Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, guys, watch<br />this."<br /> <br />7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.<br /> <br />8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.<br /> <br />9. Your junior prom offered day care.<br /> <br />10. You think the last words of the Star-Spangled Banner are<br />"Gentlemen,<br />start your engines."<br /> <br />11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off<br />its wheels.<br /> <br />12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your<br />spouse.<br /> <br />13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.<br /> <br />14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.<br /> <br />15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at<br />the<br />House of Tattoos.<br /> <br />16. You can't marry your sweetheart because there's a law against it.<br /> <br />17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk

 

[Twidget]

Re: redneck vacation

18. You have to go to the porch to do the laundry.

 

[Twidget]

Re: redneck vacation

Due to the popularity of the Survivor shows, several Southern TV stations are joining together and are planning to do their own, entitled "Survivor: Southern Style." <br /><br /> <br /><br />The contestants will start in Alabama, travel over to Georgia and on to South Carolina. From there they will head up to North Carolina and over to Tennessee. They will then proceed down to Mississippi and Louisiana and finally ending up back over in Alabama.<br /><br /> <br /><br />Each will be driving a pink Volvo with New Jersey license plates and large bumper stickers that read: I'm a Vegetarian, NASCAR Sucks, Go Yankees!, smoking is for Idiots, Hillary in 2008, Deer Hunting is Murder and I'm Here to Confiscate Your Guns!<br /><br /> <br /><br />The first one that makes it back to Montgomery alive, wins!

 

[NYMINUTE]

Re: redneck vacation

Love those RedNecks.

 

[Limited-Time]

Re: redneck vacation

Ya know why rednecks all sit on the porch with there old appliances.............Cause they don't work either! BTW I thought a redneck vacation involved alcohol, kinfolks, and fight'n....?

 

[rosco_59]

Re: redneck vacation

They go to family reunions to meet new girlfriens

 

[rosco_59]

Re: redneck vacation

They go to family reunions to meet new girlfriends

 

[Holdimhook]

Re: redneck vacation

The women wear tube-tops to funerals. The men take a beer to a job interview. (Or at least we'uns do here in allybammer)!

 

[Braxton]

Re: redneck vacation