SpinnerBait_Nut
Honorary Moderator Emeritus
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2002
- Messages
- 17,651
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the<br /> finance committee refuses to provide funds for the<br /> purchase of a chandelier because none of the members<br /> knows how to play one.<br /> <br /> You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... people<br /> ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether<br /> the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was<br /> used to catch 'em.<br /> <br /> You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... when<br /> the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take<br /> up the offering," five guys and two women stand up.<br /> <br /> You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... opening<br /> day of deer season is recognized as an official church<br /> holiday.<br /> <br /> You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... a<br /> member of the church requests to be buried in his<br /> 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a<br /> hole it couldn't get out of." (Love it!)<br /> <br /> You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the<br /> choir is known as the "OK Chorale"<br /> <br /> You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... in a<br /> congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last<br /> names in the church directory.<br /> <br /> You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... Baptism<br /> is referred to as "branding".<br /> <br /> You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... high<br /> notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to<br /> howling.<br /> <br /> You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... people<br /> think "rapture" is what! you get when you lift<br /> something too heavy.<br /> <br /> You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the<br /> baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized washtub.<br /> <br /> You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the<br /> choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the<br /> logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.<br /> <br /> You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the<br /> collection plates are really hub caps from a '56<br /> Chevy.<br /> <br /> You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... instead<br /> of a bell, you are called to service by a duck call.<br /> <br /> You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the<br /> minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.<br /> <br /> You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the<br /> communion wine is Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink".<br /> <br /> You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... "Thou<br /> shalt not covet" applies to hunting dogs, too.<br /> <br /> You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the<br /> final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back<br /> now!! Ya Hear
