LadyFish
Admiral
- Joined
- Mar 18, 2003
- Messages
- 6,894
1. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into <br />old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she <br />heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience<br />grew <br />thin. At last she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their <br />room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the <br />room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was <br />THAT?" <br />~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ <br />2. A mother was telling her little girl what her own childhood was<br />like: <br />"We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it <br />hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild <br />raspberries in the woods." <br /><br />The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, "I<br />sure <br />wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!" <br />~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ <br /><br />3. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you<br />know <br />how you and God are alike?"! I mentally polished my halo while I asked, <br />"No, how are we alike?" "You're both old," he replied. <br />~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ <br />4. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her father's word <br />processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he <br />asked. "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read." <br />~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ <br />5. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I <br />decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it <br />was. She would tell me, and always she was correct. But it was fun for <br />me, so I continued. At last she headed for the door, saying sagely, <br />"Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!" <br />~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ <br />6. A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were <br />ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell <br />her what it was. Susie raised her! hand, stood tall, and quoted, "Thou <br />shall not take the covers off thy neighbor's wife," <br />~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ <br />7. Our five-year-old son Mark couldn't wait to tell his father about<br />the <br />movie we had watched on television, "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea." The <br />scenes with the submarine and the giant octopus had kept him wide-eyed. <br />In the middle of the telling, my husband interrupted Mark, "What caused <br />the submarine to sink?" With a look of incredulity Mark replied, "Dad, <br />it was the 20,000 leaks!" <br />~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ <br />8. When my grandson, Billy, and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept <br />the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky <br />insects Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I <br />did, Billy whispered, "It's no use, Grandpa. The mosquitoes are coming <br />after us with flashlights." <br />~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ <br />9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm <br />not sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandma! ," he advised. "Mine says <br />I'm four." <br />~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ <br /><br />Children's Logic <br /><br />Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher. The small <br />boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher<br />took <br />the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she <br />asked "Sure," said the young boy confidently. "It means carrying a <br />child." <br />******************** <br /><br />A grandmother was surprised by her 7 year old grandson one morning. He <br />had made her coffee. She drank what was the worst cup of coffee in her <br />life. When she got to the bottom, there were three of those little<br />green <br />army men in the cup. She said, "Honey, what are these army men doing in <br />my coffee?" Her grandson said, "Grandma, it says on TV - "The best part <br />of waking up is soldiers in your cup!" <br />********************** <br /><br />Susie Sunshine asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their <br />favorite Bible stories. She was puzzled by Jimmie's picture which<br />showed <br />four people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant<br />to <br />represent. "The flight to Egypt." said Jimmy. "I see, and that must be <br />Mary, Joseph and Baby Jesus," Ms Susie said. But who's the fourth <br />person?"- - - - - - "Oh, that's Pontius - the Pilot." <br />************************ <br /><br />A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids <br />home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat<br />of <br />the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the <br />dog's duties. "They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster. <br />"No," said another, "he's just for good luck." A third child brought<br />the <br />argument to a close. "They use the dogs", she said firmly, "to find the <br />fire hydrant." <br /><br />ENJOY YOUR DAY - Hope this started it off with a smile!! 
