LubeDude
Admiral
- Joined
- Oct 8, 2003
- Messages
- 6,945
PERKS OF BEING OVER 50<br /><br />1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.<br /><br />2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.<br /><br />3. No one expects you to run--anywhere.<br /><br />4. People call at 9 pm and ask, " Did I wake you?"<br /><br />5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.<br /><br />6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.<br /><br />7. Things you buy now won't wear out.<br /><br />8. You can eat dinner at 4 pm.<br /><br />9. You can almost live without sex but not your glasses.<br /><br />10. You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.<br /><br />11. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.<br /><br />12. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.<br /><br />13. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into<br /> the room.<br /><br />14. You sing along with elevator music.<br /><br />15. Your eyes won't get much worse.<br /><br />16. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.<br /><br />17. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national<br /> weather service.<br /><br />18. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't<br /> remember them either.<br /><br />19. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.<br /><br />20. You can't remember who sent you this list.<br /><br />And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience.<br /><br />OK, Im bored!!! 
