Re: outdrive wont come off
look under your drive at where the shift shaft coupler is at.
by putting the helm in fwd. it moves this coupler to face fore and aft. thus allowing the drive to slide off. in the pic. the helm is in neutral. you can see, that it would be hard to slide the coupler apart as it's turned to port some.
if in rev. the coupler would be facing even further to port than in the pic. if it were in fwd. the coupler would be facing fore and aft.
edit. if ya can't move the coupler. remove the lower first. this allows the shift shaft in the upper to drop low enough to clear the shift shaft in the bell housing and will allow removal of the drive in any gear..