Osama at the pearly gates

[LubeDude]

I dont remember seeing this here before, so here goes.<br /><br />When Osama bin Laden died, he was met at the Pearly Gates by George Washington, who slapped him across the face and yelled, "How dare you try to destroy the nation I helped conceive!"<br /><br />Patrick Henry approached, punched him in the nose and shouted, "You wanted to end our liberties but you failed."<br /><br />James Madison followed, kicked him in the groin and said, "This is why I allowed our government to provide for the common defense!"<br /><br />Thomas Jefferson was next, beat Osama with a long cane and snarled, "It was evil men like you who inspired me to write the Declaration of<br />Independence."<br /><br />The beatings and thrashings continued as George Mason, James Monroe and 66 other early Americans unleashed their anger on the terrorist leader.<br /><br />As Osama lay bleeding and in pain, an Angel appeared. Bin Laden wept and said, "This is not what you promised me."<br /><br />The Angel replied, "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you in Heaven. What did you think I said?"

 

[SpinnerBait_Nut]

Re: Osama at the pearly gates

Yea LD, it's been around but still funny.<br />Here's another about the pearly gates.<br /><br />Three blondes died and are at the pearly gates of Heaven. St. Peter tells them that they can enter the gates if they can answer one simple question. <br /><br />St. Peter asks the first blonde, "What is Easter?" <br /><br />The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy! It's the holiday in November when everyone gets together, eats turkey, and are thankful." <br /><br />"Wrong!," replies St. Peter, and proceeds to ask the second blonde the same question, "What is Easter?" <br /><br />The second blonde replies, "Easter is the holiday in December when we put up a nice tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the birth of Jesus." <br /><br />St. Peter looks at the second blonde, shakes his head in disgust, tells her she's wrong, and then peers over his glasses at the third blonde. He asks, "What is Easter?" <br /><br />The third blonde smiles confidently and looks St. Peter in the eyes, "I know what Easter is." <br /><br />"Oh?" says St. Peter, incredulously. <br /><br />"Easter is the Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish celebration of Passover. Jesus and his disciples were eating at the last supper and Jesus was later deceived and turned over to the Romans by one of his disciples. The Romans took him to be crucified and he was stabbed in the side, made to wear a crown of thorns, and was hung on a cross with nails through his hands. He was buried in a nearby cave which was sealed off by a large boulder." <br /><br />St. Peter smiles broadly with delight. <br /><br />The third blonde continues, "Every year the boulder is moved aside so that Jesus can come out... and, if he sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter.