johnson-liner
Petty Officer 1st Class
- Joined
- May 19, 2004
- Messages
- 201
SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE!<br /><br /><br />What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?<br /><br />Juan on Juan<br /><br />What is a Yankee?<br /><br />The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.<br /><br />What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?<br />The position of the dirt bag<br /><br />Why is divorce so expensive?<br />Because it's worth it.<br /><br />What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?<br />Doughnuts?<br /><br />Why is air a lot like s*x?<br />Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any<br /><br />What do you call a smart blonde?<br />A golden retriever.<br /><br />What do attorneys use for birth control?<br />Their personalities.<br /><br />What'! s the di fference between a girlfriend and wife?<br />45 lbs<br /><br />What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?<br />45 minutes<br /><br />What's the fastest way to a man's heart?<br />Through his chest with a sharp knife.<br /><br />Why do men want to marry virgins?<br />They can't stand criticism.<br /><br />Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and <br />good-looking?<br />Because those ! men already have boyfriends.<br /><br />What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?<br />After a year, the dog is still excited to see you<br /><br />What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?<br />The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.<br /><br />Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?<br />Because they have cotton balls.<br /><br />What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?<br />A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.<br /><br />What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?<br />"Are you sure it's mine?"!<br /><br />Why does Mike Tyson cry during s*x?<br />Mace will do that to you.<br /><br />Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?<br />Everyone has the same DNA.<br /><br />Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?<br />Breasts don't have eyes.<br /><br />Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?<br />He walks around saying "Yo."<br /><br />Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on <br />Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?<br />Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.<br /><br />Where does an Irish family go on vacation?<br />A different bar.<br /><br />Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?<br />They named him "Sum Ting Wong<br /><br />What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?<br />A speech impediment.<br /><br />What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?<br />They're hiring .<br /><br /><br />What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?<br />A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage <br />along with... "a recipe".<br /><br />How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?<br />Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!<br /><br />What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?<br />A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time... - A southern fairytale <br />begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this sh*t...<br /><br /><br />Why is there no Disneyland in China?<br />No one's tall enough to go on the good rides
